Life and Twitch Plays Pokemon

So it's been a really long time since I blogged. I have been thinking about lots of stuff to post recently. There is so much to talk about. I will start this with a quick update about me for those who actually care and then I think I want to discuss this whole Twitch Plays Pokemon phenomenon that has me and so many other completely enthralled.

It's now like February of my first year. That's kinda crazy. I finally started doing grading for Lab 1 and it went better than expected. Well for me anyway, can't say the students agree. I like to think it was their job to make me happy not the other way around. Or maybe that second one would come from the first. Regardless I am hoping this Tuesday and the rest of the week will be full of excellent reports so I don't have to be sad afterword. Other than grading I have two classes. One of which I don't care much about as it relates more to gaseous photochemistry, which is actually kinda interesting, and other physical principles of atmospheric mass transfer, that's the blah part. My other class is taught by my adviser, and is about environmental energy, which is actually really cool. I do like it and I find the methods interesting and useful. I have also (kinda) started on my research. I have an idea of what I will be doing and how to do it. Hopefully it will be progressing faster in the coming weeks. I am helping out with the MCS FLoS still and we have an event coming up soon that we need to do demos for. And outside of school I am watching lots of Youtube (Rooster Teeth, Pewdiepie, penguinz0, Rev3Games and The Sw1tcher). And that leads me to the main point of this blog. I have been totally entranced by this little 10 day (so far) stream called Twitch Plays Pokemon.

If you have not heard of this before you really should look it up. Here is a link to the stream, god knows how long it will be up and working. http://www.twitch.tv/twitchplayspokemon. It is a really clever program that allows any person watching the stream to control the character by inputting commands. This may sound like a very basic thing and maybe it sound like any other video game, but it is very different when 50000-100000 people play at the same time. It is extremely chaotic and results in a fascinating social experiment. It has pretty much taken the internet by storm at this point.

I have now seen or heard it mentioned or spoofed in a dozen or more ways and from I don't know how many viewpoints. I am going to try to talk about it with many of these views in mind and present my own semi fleshed out idea of the event.

To me this program is a really amazing feat. My first thought of it when I started watching around day 2, was wow this is a proof of concept for the theory that if you give a bunch of monkeys a typewriter and enough time they can write the complete works of Shakespeare (or a similar thought experiment). My thought was that give these people enough time and they will eventually beat the game. Thinking about this thought now, is a really simplistic view of it though. Yes they will complete it obviously because there is no way to lose the game because it is rather linear, barring some ability to take some minor different paths, but you still end up beating the 8 gym leaders and the elite 4. Anyway, after following it for a week and watching other groups' reactions to it and forming more opinions on it I really think there is a whole lot more to be said.

There are some major differences between this stream and playing the game yourself. I will start by saying that the game itself presents almost no higher meaning (other than maybe the ethics of trapping animals and making them fight each other). So starting at that base point I believe some major differences between the game and program result in the program presenting some really fascinating comments on human society.

The first difference is the amount of people playing is on average 50-60 thousand more than it should normally be. It was created to originally only be a single person controlling the sprite on the screen. This introduces some mechanics that were never there in the original version of the game. This introduces much more chaos when playing. The way I thought about it first was it basically introduces Brownian motion to the sprites motion. For those who don't know much about physics, Brownian motion is what happens to very small particles as a result of being hit by other small particles; they don't move in defined trajectories, like passing a ball to a friend at a basketball game. They move more wiggly and randomly. In this sense the character can get from the Poke Center to the Gym, but it takes about 1000 more steps and 20 more pauses than should be required by a single player. This really introduces the element of randomness and complete chaos to the game. An added level of chaos is the presence of the 20-40 second lag time. Meaning if you tell the player to go down at this second, 20 seconds later your command will appear on screen. This may not sound bad, but when that down command changes the selected option from take the Pokemon out of the computer and erase that monster forever. That is a huge deal. I was just witness to one of the more well liked Pokemon being released not too long ago. It was devastating to me and thousands of others.

There are several topics I want to quickly mention and then I will talk about them individually because that last sentence reminded me of them all and I don't want to forget: Anarchy vs Democracy modes, Pokemon evolution in the narrative, Connection of all the players to the story, Spin-offs of this stream.

Ok that is what I could remember of my thoughts. So first I want to mention the two modes of the game. Anarchy is what was mentioned above, each person typing a command has the ability to persuade the motion of the sprite one to one; meaning your command will change the screen directly in one way or another. Democracy mode, which was introduced at a later time in the game is basically an average over some amount of time of votes. So say the timer is 10 seconds, in that ten seconds the players continue to type commands but the commands are averaged over that 10 seconds, so your command may not result in any changes happening to the game. This is taken from some person I saw on the chat several days back, anarchy is going nowhere, fast, while democracy is going somewhere slowly. So what tends to happen is people like anarchy because the sprite goes constantly, but usually takes forever to get where they want it to go. Democracy seems to be really effective when they are trying to get a very specific task done efficiently, but it takes much longer because of the averaging time. This evolution of modes of movement was one of the things that I really thought a lot about. It was created similar to the creation of forms of government through human history. Things were chaotic and so they created a system that would hopefully work to the best interests of the majority. Ok so human history had a few other routes first and it didn't work out so neat and clean, but realistically this hasn't either. Much to my surprise democracy almost never got used. I mean yeah it was slow but really it seemed to work out much better than anarchy. But now as time has gone on, it makes sense. It actually is not much better for time and really, it's not as entertaining. I just watched an interview where a gamer from Twitch, named Destiny, talked about this and why he thinks it happens. And it makes complete sense to me now, why democracy is not more used. It's because the point of this experiment is not to beat the game, as I thought, it is to have fun. It sounds silly and really simplistic, but it makes sense. Anyone in my generation has played this game and knows how to beat it. The fun isn't in beating it, the fun is in the narrative that has been created around the character and the Pokemon. I could speak on how governmental anarchy is not the same as this anarchy but that seems kinda pointless and less fun than the other points I want to make. Plus this post is already super long. So let's move on.

Pokemon is not really a story based game. I don't think anyone would give it awards for having a narrative. It's just fun to catch all the Pokemon you can. But this representation of the game is definitely different. It's interesting how much more entertaining stories are when you and 50000 others are writing it. Because of the randomness of button commands many absurd things happen in the game. For example Pokemon, after being caught can be named, well imagine 50000 people trying to type on a keyboard to write a name. You might imagine some names like "aaabaaajss" or "B-!)" it's not an easy thing. This makes people laugh and have a good time. And because these are nonsensical names, people need to come up with ways of pronouncing them or come up with random nicknames based on what they have done with those Pokemon. One story I will tell is about a Pokemon named "AAJST(???", this monster was a rattata, at one point or another this Pokemon, in the flurry of random button commands was taught the move dig. For those unfamiliar with the move dig, this move while useful in battle also has the secondary ability of instantly getting you from a cave to a Poke Center to heal your Pokemon. This is a super useful skill, but when a bunch of people are randomly hitting buttons you can imagine that this will accidentally be selected and result in a huge amount of progress being lost. Well this caused this Pokemon to get the nickname Digrat and similar names and it also got him to be one of the most hated Pokemon in the party. This is one of the things I was talking about, how people can create narrative even when there really is none to begin with. One of the guys on Rooster Teeth mentioned on the Patch how it is like a soap opera, which is a pretty good analogy. So later in the game at the Pokemon Tower, it was discovered that using the dig move in battle against ghosts was super effective and killed almost all ghosts instantly. This made a lot of minds change about Digrat and he got other nicknames like Big Dig. Well I am sad to report, if you have no heard, that today Digrat was released forever and is gone. I witnessed this and even though I am not completely up on the narrative of most characters I was so sad when it happened. It was really bad. Many people were upset about it. This is the impact that this playthrough has caused. It is a powerful look into the effect of cultural phenomena on people. I am intrigued by it and I hope others of you have some insight.

So moving on to the future of it. The game is still quite a ways from being done. It's over 250 hours in and there are still 2 gyms and the elite 4 left. For scale, I completed the blue version in 125 hours, and by that I mean I caught all 151 Pokemon and beat the elite 4 multiple times. At the time I was no more than 12 years old so I wasn't exactly good at games. It's also interesting to look at how long it took to finish each of the tasks. If you want to see their progress feel free to look at this site: https://sites.google.com/site/twitchplayspokemonstatus/. But because this game took the internet by storm it has spawned others like it. One of which I read actually finished the blue version of the game. I did not watch that one at all so I know nothing about it but I was impressed when I heard that it finished in only 180 hours. I would be interested to know how many people were on it on average and what kind of system of motion they had. This kind of variability makes me think that this kind of gaming may be a really fun thing to play around with for game developers in the future. I would not be surprised if it managed to get a few game companies' attention. The future should be interesting regardless.

I realize this went on for a long time and I really feel like I have not talked much about anything. But I hope this brings people up to speed on the event and brings some discussion. I want to hear more and I have other ideas about it if people want to talk about it too. Let me know.

I also have some other ideas for blogs that I may or may not be able to get out soon. I have been wanting to blog a lot in the last few weeks, but time is limited. We will see. Well for those who actually have read this far thanks and please do comment with your thoughts on this whole phenomenon. Adios.

First Grad School Post

Hey everyone,

This is my first post from grad school. It's been a really long time since I posted but I figured why not write one, even if I don't have much to say, just to start my grad school posts. So here is a little of what has gone on in the last few weeks.

So far I have two classes. One is taught by one of the professors I will be in lab with and it is about aerosols (I'm in a lab for atmospheric chemistry for those who don't know) and I actually am presenting a paper on Tuesday. Woo hoo. And my other class is on nanoparticles and it only very slightly involves the stuff I am going to be research, in that aerosols are technically classified as nanoparticles. Regardless the classes are not too bad. I kinda enjoy only having two. Aside from class I am a TA now (yay on the road to being a professor). It's actually really enjoyable. I like teaching the kids about how things work and what things they should look out for. Although it's kinda scary to think I (and 6-8 other people) am responsible for all these kids lives. So safety is a huge deal that I am trying to help them with as well. Other than those responsibilities I don't have much going on. I do shadow people in the CAPS labs so I can get accustomed to doing the research aspect of my grad school career (essentially the entirety of that career). But that is the school stuff I have been up to. Outside of that I have been involved with the MCS Future Leaders in Science which is an outreach group for chemistry and it's really awesome. This weekend actually there is a chemistry carnival and I am really looking forward to it and doing the demo with people. I am also hoping to see lots of kids and teaching them about science. Should be fun. =]

What else is happening? Good question. Honestly not much. My time at home is basically spent reading stuff for class and research, watching Youtube, and talking to my girlfriend. Not too much else. I have started watching Achievement Hunter/Rooster Teeth series on Youtube, for those who don't know they are a bunch of guys who play video games as their job. They are quite hilarious and I really suggest you watch them if you even remotely like video games and/or enjoy people-getting-mad-at-each-other humor. Oh another thing I recently did was purchase my first Humble Indie bundle. Probably the most awesome idea anyone has ever had. You get a bunch of games for whatever you want to pay. Ten bucks got me almost 10 games and I just beat one of them and it was probably one of the most awesome puzzle games I ever played. I really suggest it to people who have not learned about it yet. Those people do great work. I also started an anime last night called Steins;Gate. Very strange time travel/conspiracy anime. Not sure about it but I hope to finish it this week and I can give thoughts then.

One piece of bad news I just learned of a few days ago. My stream from Extra Life 4 Kids was not saved on the website I used and now it's gone forever. I am really upset about this, but we all move on. So if anyone has any plans to do a stream for the cause let me know I am totally game. I hope to make this a tradition if I manage to get better equipment for recording.

That is pretty much it. I have gotten situated in my house and am pretty satisfied with it. I finally get paid my first real check within 8 days. I can't wait to see how much it will be. I still haven't figured out how much tax will be taken out but if it's the same rate as the first minor check then I am looking at a lot of money. Yay!!

Ok well I just thought I would update everyone. Maybe I will come up with something more fun to talk about next time. Who knows. Adios everyone. Oh and feel free to visit me whenever you want. Just kidding but seriously I wouldn't mind housing one or two people for a night if you want to make a trip.

Yet another tragedy in this life we live

Being woken up 15 minutes early to the second phone call from your father that night is never a good sign. Yet that is how my day started. Then I got the news that my cousin had been shot. No details yet that I am aware of as to who did it or why. Have yet to see anything about this one of likely thousands of shootings so far this year. I find myself occasionally tearing up and yet I still go on with my day. It's just another day of school. But what I ask myself now is "How am I supposed to react to this?" What can I possibly do? Should I try to heal myself or my family? Do I just worry about the future of my own life or do I think about today? Should I mourn or move on? So I have decided that I will do what I do best. I will blog about it and celebrate the life that I know of my cousin, Andrew. I think he would appreciate it.

Andrew was my role model for nearly my whole childhood. Anyone could tell that just by the shear fact that I wore hats, liked the Dallas Cowboys (yes in the Philadelphia area), and wanted to be able to do cool skateboard moves even though I couldn't even stand on one without losing my balance. He was the coolest kid I knew. He was the one that got the girls and could do anything manly you can conceive of as an 8 year old boy. We had our times as kids. Every summer we would stay at either his mom's place or my house. We biked and played games and ran through the hall and flipped on my parents bed and did any number of crazy boy things. We talked about girls of course. We played lots of videogames, it's funny because I actually played through the original Tony Hawk's Pro Skater just the other week, one of our favorite games when we were kids. And my roommate just got a new edition of Need for Speed Hot Pursuit which was by far his favorite and because of that it was my favorite as well. We always put in the code to get the McLaren F1 car. It was the "fastest car ever" according to him. Of course I believed him, and to this day I would believe that. What I lack in knowledge of cars (which is a lot), he more than made up for. Always one of his passions, up until his final days.

So many stories of days we spent together as kids. The early morning visit to the hospital because my dumb sister decided to stick her hand on the stove. The deep gash in Andrew's leg that he sustained while trying to fix his bike. The times I used to join him for his allergy doctor visits. I always thought he would end up dying by a bee sting because he was so allergic.

Unfortunately after those many summers of hanging out, we ended up going our separate ways. We never really saw too much of each other. He did his stuff with friends and girlfriends and I did my school stuff. He was never much of a school person but like I said he didn't need it with his insane knowledge and love of cars. I don't think I could live a complete life and ever know as much about cars as he did when he was 12.

So the next thing I know I am a college student and he has a kid. The first of my grandparents' great-grandkids. Cutest little girl in the world. Little miss Cameron. I don't want to be too modest but I taught her how to put the shapes in the correct holes. That was all my doing (Haha I'm just kidding, but I totally did). He learned as much from her as she did from him. He was an excellent father to his little girl. I hope that I have that same opportunity, to be a great father to my own child some day.

Well I don't know what else I can say at a moment like this. I am almost unable to read the screen past these tears as I type. But I want to reiterate a point I made on facebook a short time ago. I am here for my family. I know that Aunt Sharon is probably having the worst time anyone can imagine.

But this is for you especially but for anyone else as well. You were blessed with a great son. He had a great life and a great mother and family. He was a great father and although his life has come to a tragic end, he will continue to live on through everyone. Maybe not his superhuman knowledge of cars but every other quality can be embodied by us mere mortals. And thankfully for us, he was able to pass on his legacy to Cameron. Your beautiful granddaughter. She will be our connection to him for the rest of our lives. Never forget you have family that is here for you. Having a positive psychology class I try to continue to think positive. One thing that I know to be true is that people always overestimate the duration of emotions. There will always be the twinge of sadness, but the majority of the sadness will diminish over time. We will get through this. I hope this at least slightly helps everyone.

I'm not going to be cliche and say rip or anything like that. I want to say:

Thank you Andrew for living your life and allowing me to experience it with you.

Why do people live the way they do?

I feel like this is a completely rhetorical attempt at a post. It's really not a fair question, but I kinda want to hear from my readers. I just want to hear your thoughts.

Why do people live the way they do?

Why do certain people live like they do?

Why do prostitutes live to sell their bodies?

Why do addicts live to get the next high?

Why do drunkards drink every waking moment of their lives?

Why do scholars live to study?

Why do stay at home parents live to sit in their homes and provide a suitable home for their families?

Why do soldiers stay alive to provide a safe environment for their country men and women?

Why do charity workers help those in need?

Why do students continue with school even if they don't like it?

Why do you what you do on a daily basis?

I know that people have certain motivations for what they do (i.e. to put food on the table, psychological desire, fear, lack of other options). But... Why really? Are their really no other options? Can't people provide for families in other ways? What are our innate reasons for doing what we do? Even though some people aren't satiated by what they do, even though they become depressed and overall unhappy with what they do every day in a monotonous fashion. Why do we continue?

Or maybe there doesn't have to be a reason. Maybe our purpose is our purpose and that's all. Maybe there is no reason for our purpose in this life?

Another question based off of that previous one. Is there actually a purpose? Do we do what we do because we believe there is a purpose? Does there need to be a purpose?

Ok maybe I should stop before I get too existential. I suppose in the end this wasn't really a rhetorical question or an attempt to have audience participation. It was more of a musing that I hope my readers will dig just a little deeper into. My purpose here on this blog is to make you all think about stuff while I think more or less aloud to you.

Anyway, have a nice night or day depending on when you read this.

Changing the World

So it's been a really long time since I posted anything and I figured while I am in bed restless with nothing better to do, listening to a super inspiring band (aka Enter Shikari), and contemplating changing the world, I may as well post a blog about it.

I will post a warning now, this will likely sound like a rant from a drunken fool or a naive child, but I will do my best to string together some logical ideas if at all possible at this 2 am. And of course none of this ranting will do anything to actually change the world. That has to be done by the people of the world. Only actions bring change.

So the world needs to be changed. How old is this statement at this point in time? Every era has the same criticism and it does change, eventually. But never for good. Why is that? Hmmmm... Well thinking about it I think this is a question that cannot be answered in the amount of time I have before I fall asleep... or in my life for that matter. But how about a short blurb.

Humans are creatures of habit. They find a method that works and they keep to it until it no longer works or someone else finds a more effective way to do the same thing or that thing becomes unnecessary or outdated. So this same concept can be applied to political systems. We stick to the same system until it fails and/or falls to another "better" system.

Now this is what leads us to today. We have a system that... well let's quote one of the most revolutionary bands I have ever listened to:
"Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think the primary purpose of your life, of my life and the entirety of the human race's is just to blindly consume to support a failing economy and a faulty system, forever and ever until we run out of every resource and have to resort to blowing each other up to ensure our own survival. I don't think we're supposed to sit by idle while we continue to use a long outdated system that produces war, poverty, collusion, corruption, ruins our environment and threatens every aspect of our health and does nothing but divide and segregate us. I don't think how much military equipment we are selling to other countries, how many hydrocarbons we're burning, how much money is being printed and exchanged, is a good measure of how healthy our society is but I do think I can speak for everyone when I say, we're sick of this shit."

This kinda sums up everything I could ever say about this world. It's pretty sad to think about. That first statement is the strongest. It's not our purpose to do those things. No matter what you believe of humankind. Whether you think in terms of evolution and biology in which our purpose is to reproduce and become fit as a species. Or religion and our purpose is to get to heaven or do good unto others, or reach whatever your specific religion's goal is. Philanthropists try to help others. I guess if I am arguing these people's purposes are what they are, then there is likely some people who believe this is our purpose, to consume until the end. Maybe I am just blind but I don't see how this is a legitimate belief though.

I say this but I still see it. I see people do absolutely nothing to better anyone or change anything or even try to succeed or pursue their dreams. People are just stuck in their habit of not doing a damned thing. This brings me to the conclusion that habit is laziness. It is unwillingness to change ones life for any reason so as to conserve energy or whatever is the specific persons reason. People are too lazy and carefree to do anything.

To change the world we need people to want to change it. We need people with ideas and with motivation to get others to change it with them. A revolution does not begin on its own.

Well I think my time is almost up this fine evening. I am just about asleep and haven't said much of anything. That's disappointing. Well perhaps I will leave you with some of my hopes for my future.

I want to do a little research into things that have worked and things that haven't. Learning from the past is a necessary thing (also learned from Enter Shikari). I want to become a teacher at some point and I want to teach people chemistry, of all things. Because I still feel that science is the key to the future. But I want to integrate other ideas and lessons into the lectures as well. I also want to help create reform that no politician will. Because for me there is more at stake than a stupid reputation or something as pointless as pride. The future of the world is at stake now. We are losing out grip on what is real. It's really not ok. I will leave tonight by telling all readers to listen to a song or two by Enter Shikari. Please hear them out. And try to do something to help your fellow man. And here is one my favorites from them:
Enter Shikari- Juggernauts

"I'm not saying we could do better but given the chance we would try."
"I know that we still got time but I do not think we're invincible."

Good night fine people. Oh and happy new year.

UIUC Atlanta Conference

This was certainly a long weekend, but it was probably one of the best in my life. I got to meet a couple of the most amazing people ever. I got to network with some people about a few things. I got to present this summer research and I got $200 out of it for a second place prize in my category. It was a magnificent experience. As I sit here on the bus typing into Word, I am reminiscing back on the past few days and really truly cherishing the moments we had.

So we arrived on Thursday morning after an overnight bus ride. It was a long, uncomfortable ride which resulted in little sleep to start off this conference. By the time we got checked into the hotel and situated in the city, it was late breakfast/early lunch time and we had not eaten except for the foods that we had brought on the bus. So Kim, Rasheed, and I went to some place called the mall food court. It was exactly what the name implies. I got food at a Checkers. Then we walked around the place a bit. Then afterward I wanted to walk around the city to explore and Rasheed decided to accompany me. We walked a ways and got to a point where we were definitely lost. So it took us a good hour or more to figure out where the hotel was. By that time I was sweating profusely due to the fact that I was wearing long pants and it was like high 80s and humid, so I showered. Then naptime, then we were to meet up for registration for the conference itself. So the night ended with more talks on random stuff that I can’t remember at the moment. I just remember that there was a speaker who was really great about teaching chem and I wanted to talk to her for a little. Going up to her at the end was the best decision of my life. Not because of meeting her, which was definitely inspiring, but because I got to meet two of the most amazing Arkansans I have ever met (ok so they are probably the first two, but that does not diminish their amazingness in my mind). Laura and Jerry are the most intellectual people I have met in a long time. She is a straight math major, which is insane in and of itself, and he is a freakin triple major in math, physics and chemistry. Absolutely phenomenal!!!! For those who don’t know at one point was a double major in physics and chemistry with a minor in math. He, from the get-go, was my long lost twin brother. The group of us talked for a while, then decided to go to dinner. We all talked and got to know each other at the Metro diner, which was like a karaoke bar/restaurant. None of us cared to do it but we listened to others sing the classic rock that, at least me and my twin both love. We talked for hours about ourselves and the program and our majors and the universe and space and deep sea and all kinds of stuff. It was awesome. We really became quick friends. It was perfect, the friend version of love at first sight it seems. Over the following days we connected to a huge extent. So bed the first night was nice, much more comfortable than the bus seats.

Friday morning was extremely early. We had a half a day of talks. All on graduate school and things along those lines. We finished around 3 I believe. We then had the day to ourselves. Laura and Jerry went with their adviser to the aquarium. I remained in my room for a few hours so that I could research grad schools and perhaps look over my presentation. That didn’t work out exactly as planned but I did write a few emails. Rasheed, Josh and I decided to go out and get pizza for dinner. The others went to the Hard Rock Café. Jerry loved it. He is such a classic rock junky, it is so good. So that night was relaxing after dinner and getting ready for the presentations the next day. Something that I did with minimal effort because I was fairly confident in my presentation. After a while I just decided sleep would be best and I went to bed.

Saturday was presentation day. We had to present between 9 and noon. I got to see a bunch of great presentations on interesting research from around the country. Some actually pertained to my Widener research which I was really surprised about. I gave some people business cards and got some of my own. I presented and I was told by several people that I did well. It was nice to be recognized. After my presentation two people came up to me and asked for my information because they wanted to contact me with regards to their research and the applications to our research. It’s cool being able to talk to people about my research experiences and hearing others. I got to watch other people’s presentations too. And Laura presented too, which I got to see. I can’t say I understood it much at all, but it was really cool to see a (now) really good friend talk about things that I could never even fathom. I was thoroughly impressed. She did such a great job. She just needs to have more confidence in herself. Anyway, so then lunch with grad school recruiters and then a grad fair. I got some information from schools. Got some free stuff. I found out that Scripps sounds like a really great school. They have great benefits and I definitely will consider them for grad school. After the fair, I got to spend some more great time with Laura and Jerry, my newest best buds. We went to Jerry’s room to watch corny Syfy movies (ice spiders to be specific). After we criticized the hell out of that, we decided dinner should happen soon. Then somehow we got to the idea that we should visit the Coke factory. It was definitely the best plan. We got Rasheed and Josh and their adviser, Laura #2, and left for the factory. For $16 this was an absolutely amazing deal. We went in and got to the taster place. It has all the sodas made by Coke around the world. Some are really good, others (Beverly) are absolutely the worst thing I have ever tasted. We looked at the different exhibits, watch a 4-D movie, saw the factory, and saw the vault that contains the secret formula. It was absolutely worth the $16 that it cost to enter. We visited the taste thing again before we left. I am pretty sure I tried about 30 of the 64 flavors available. It was insane. My mouth and stomach probably hate me after all that acid, but it was necessary, for science. After the factory we went to Max Lager’s Brewery. That was also epic. I ate, for the first time, a bison burger. It was really good, not too much different than a normal burger, but it was still really good. Also got fresh brewed root beer. That was very different than A&W and Barq’s. It was good though. After that I was super full but decided since it was our last night I had to get chocolate cake. Me and Jerry and Laura shared it, also amazing. After that we all stayed and played pool upstairs for a few hours. What we didn’t know until we were leaving is that the place had closed a while before we left. The workers, somehow, did not realize we were there playing pool (an extremely loud game). But whatever, it made a great night, even more amazing. Then we went back to the hotel and played card games. That was fun, we played BS and hearts. Jerry was the first to hit the hay. That was around 1 I believe. After he went, the four of us talked about stuff and played hearts. We all were getting really tired. But we were resilient. Josh was the next to go at like 4. Then there were 3. We decided that we would continue to talk about stuff. Philosophy, school, grades, tests, all kinds of stuff. It was excellent. Gradually we got more and more tired. Laura was insistent upon staying up to see the sunrise. So we did. Unfortunately we didn’t really get to see it because there was a building in our way. But we tried. Then we realized we only had 3 hours until we had to be at breakfast so we should at least try to get some sleep. I returned to my room and packed up my stuff before taking a 1.5 hour nap. Then the final day began. I awoke feeling like I wanted to vomit all over the room. Not good. I felt awful, not really sure why. I’m attributing it to a combination of the complete lack of sleep and the awful stuff I ingested the previous day. I couldn’t eat breakfast even though it was the first time we got bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of fruit and bread. So I ate yogurt, a piece of cantaloupe, and corn flakes. We had a really good speaker. Unfortunately this would be the last time I see Laura, Laura, and Jerry. The speech was making me pretty emotional already, but seeing them leave was really, really depressing. I have been on occasion tearing up thinking about these awesome guys. I have officially made them my siblings in my mind. I will truly miss them and I really want to make an effort to see them again really soon. So that leads to the award ceremony. 7 people from UIUC got awards. I was luckily one of them. I received 2nd place in the Life Sciences category. I was happy to get it and 200 bucks. Then we packed and left. Now we are on the road back to UIUC. I have to say I really miss Laura and Jerry. I hope that I will be able to see them again soon.

UIUC Part Who Cares

As you can probably tell from the title, I am not in a great mood. I think watching that philosophy lecture yesterday got me in a philosophical mood. So this morning I had a half hour of time to just sit and think and that's what I did. My usual philosophical crap. So now I'm not in a positive mood. Joy. I made a list of questions about life that I left at my room and I will add when I get back. I just wanted to start writing this out now while I'm in lab and Saumen hasn't arrived yet.

To add to this crappy mood, no colonies grew, AGAIN!! Well one of the plates has like 2 or 3 colonies on it but nothing substantial. I just don't get why they won't work. I don't know how anyone puts up with this work. I know for fact that I do not want to work with cells. It is way too annoying for not that much payoff. I would rather deal with flies at least I can see them before the last step of the procedure. But they are also prone to not following directions, that's why I am a chemist and not a biochemist. I just want stuff to actually work. This phrase has a double meaning in my case, conveniently.

And there goes the philosophy again. My major question on the paper back at my room:

Why am I cursed with thought and awareness of my life?

This may apply to other humans, animals, beings in general, but I do not know for certain. Regardless, I will apply all my questions in a personal frame do to my uncertainty of others' thoughts in the area.

I have been thinking about this a lot in the last year. Why do I need to be cursed with such an ability? Why can't I go about my life not thinking about anything? Why am I a thinking thing? Why do I exist? Is this my sole purpose? Does thinking make any difference? Why am I concerned with making a difference? Is there a reason for me to make a difference? It's to be remembered, isn't it? Why do I wish to be remembered? Do I need assurance that my life wasn't a waste? But how can I know that my life isn't a waste? I don't do much at all, why is this not a waste? Or is it? Am I just wasting my life? But what is life really? If there is an afterlife, why live at all? Assertion 1: There can't be an afterlife, it's too easy. Making this assumption, then I must live. But what is the purpose of living? Assertion 2: To learn, to know everything. I have a purpose. But what if that purpose does not work? What if it cannot be fulfilled? What if I waste my life and do not fulfill this purpose?


I cannot answer that question... If I do not fulfill my goal, I did waste my life, didn't I? What if I make a second purpose? Can I have two purposes? Can one being be living for two reasons? Assertion 3: Second purpose-


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Just found a site with points identifying the thinking of Existentialists:

1. they are obsessed with how to live one's life and believe that philosophical and psychological inquiry can help. CHECK

2. they believe there are certain questions that everyone must deal with (if they are to take human life seriously), and that these are special -- existential -- questions. Questions such as death, the meaning of human existence, the place of God in human existence, the meaning of value, interpersonal relationship, the place of self-reflective conscious knowledge of one's self in existing. CHECK

3. Note that the existentialists on this characterization don't pay much attention to "social" questions such as the politics of life and what "social" responsibility the society or state has. They focus almost exclusively on the individual. CHECK, kinda

4. By and large Existentialists believe that life is very difficult and that it doesn't have an "objective" or universally known value, but that the individual must create value by affiriming it and living it, not by talking about it. CHECK

5. Existential choices and values are primarily demonstrated in ACT not in words. CHECK, though I could do it more personally

6. Given that one is focusing on individual existence and the "existential" struggles (that is, in making decisions that are meaningful in everyday life), they often find that literary characterizations rather than more abstract philosophical thinking, are the best ways to elucidate existential struggles. not sure what they mean, but I don't think so

7. They tend to take freedom of the will, the human power to do or not do, as absolutely obvious. Now and again there are arguments for free will in Existentialist literature, but even in these arguments, one gets the distinct sense that the arguments are not for themselves, but for "outsiders." Inside the movement, free will is axiomatic, it is intuitively obvious, it is the backdrop of all else that goes on. CHECK

I think I am an Existentialist. At least as far as this characterization goes, I am for the most part, all of the above (minus #6). Interesting. Good to know where I stand in my philosophical endeavors. Though I am certain this is not the only school of philosophy with which I am involved. This is very interesting to me.


**********************************************************************

A nice side note for once. Well now that I lost my train of though I guess I will stop for the moment. At least while I am here in lab. My mood has marginally improved since this morning. I will probably commence writing later in the day. I hope to be able to get the a store called County Market to check out if prices are any lower than Walgreen's. It would be nice if they are. Although that would mean that I need to walk 2 miles to get there from my dorm and 2 more back with groceries. I may start using the buses if that is the case. Well regardless. Have a philosophical day.

UIUC Part moved dorms

Hey all, I am in my new dorm and I kinda wanted to make a comparison on top of talking about the last few days. So Thursday was my last post apparently. Honestly I have no idea what I posted when. So I will just talk about what I remember. This week has been super busy with lab. I accumulated a total of 48+ from Monday to Friday. And I worked Saturday and Sunday for a little while. I got some stuff done though which is awesome. We worked with E114A mutants and got those to the point of taking out the protein. We also worked with E114G and I107E, which Saumen, my postdoc mentor, had synthesized before and got those to a point that tomorrow we will be sending them out to be DNA sequenced. So that's pretty cool. (By the way the random numbers and letters, for those who don't know, are positions of mutations in a protein). I started on my presentation a little bit this past few days. The presentation is for the SAEOPP conference n Atlanta that is next Thursday to Saturday. So I get to travel even when I am in the middle of a travel experience. And this time I get to go southeast for the first time since high school senior year. There is another conference closer to home later in the summer that is in Buffalo. So that should be fun and maybe I can actually present real data.

So room comparison. I think this one is better for the following reasons:
1. The bed is more comfy.
2. CLIMATE IS BETTER!!!! No more super cold room.
3. I will actually get direct sun, at least in the morning.
4. It's a lot bigger.

I think this room is worse because:
1. The window is super squeaky and annoying.
2. The door is being pulled in and out by the wind and making annoying noises too.
3. This place is a lot further from the lab and most things I learned to like over near the other dorm.
4. I am on the 9th floor as opposed to the 3rd.

Other than that stuff it's the same old dorm. But I did go shopping today after Saumen was an awesome guy and dropped me off with my stuff at my new dorm so I didn't have to walk and make like 3 trips. I decided to buy tuna in singlet packets and some mayo, which was way bigger than I wanted but not too expensive and will hopefully last without a fridge. I had that for dinner. DEFINITELY the best thing I have eaten since I got here. I was, and still am an hour later, the happiest I have been since getting here by eating tuna (there is some exaggeration there but not too much). Anyway, I think that's about it this week. I finished Boogiepop Phantom anime series and it was really confusing and deep, I didn't get it too much. I also couldn't keep the characters straight. I will likely start another up soon and continue my presentation. I need to know this stuff if I want it to go well. Adios for now.

UIUC Part after next...

Such long days today and tomorrow, got an email from Saumen expecting that tomorrow we won't be done until 9 pm... man I feel like I am going to be exhausted by then. Today was a lot of sitting around but it was still long. I looked up grad schools and papers and stuff. Today was such a strange day too. There was a fire alarm thing. So we had to leave the building for a little while in the middle of the day. Then we had to move all the stuff on the floor into the hall so that some guys could come in and clean the floors. Apparently the stuff they were cleaning with is able to melt the soles off of shoes!! That's pretty cool even though it meant no one could get in the lab and all our stuff was still in there. Luckily they were nice enough to get our stuff for us. So after lab meeting ended at 7:30 I came back to my dorm and got some ramen and crackers for dinner. Also luckily regarding tomorrow, we aren't actually starting until after 10. But I will still be up by 8 probably. Not sure what else I feel like talking about. Well we had a scare earlier that more of out samples weren't growing cells but then they ended up growing and that was good. Nothing much else is going on. Just have to finish up stuff for the week and maybe work this weekend but not sure yet. Otherwise just need to pack so that I can move to my really out of the way dorm and shop for more food. Maybe the new dorm will give me some appliances...? Doubtful but it's whatever. I will deal. Anyway I think it's bed time. Adios til next time.

UIUC Part ... Next

So much has happened since my last post. I will outline it now as I think of stuff and then talk about it later. Let's see:
This past weekend-
read and got more papers for home research
received protocols from Saumen
went to IHOP on Sunday
Walked a lot
Went to the Spurlock Museum on campus on Saturday

Monday, Tuesday-
Ran around Monday morning doing stuff to get the ID stuff
Went out to Joe's with Dr. Lu, Igor, and Saumen- got lots of food out of it
Then started on research did some PCR prep and transformations
Got my ID finally but needed a sign-in for the internet
Got no results Tuesday from the transformations
Sat around and eventually got my sign-in for the internet
I also picked up a sweatshirt, it's orange =]
Then took my final safety exam
Then ate my leftovers from Joe's
Then performed different transformations and created some solutions for tomorrow which took me until 7:30

Ok that is all that I did, I think. I could talk about it all but I think it will wait until another day. I'm tired. Good night.

Edit

Well I guess I will add more while I am sitting here waiting to put stuff on the PCR. So the past few days has been good. As you can see in the outline above, I did a decent amount of stuff. The museum was nice and had lots of stuff from ancient Egypt, elsewhere in Africa, Japan, Oceania, and the evolution of Europe from knights and castles to the computer. It was relatively interesting and took up about 1.5 hours of the weekend. So it was good especially for free. I did a lot of walking around too. It was a nice weekend. I saw people doing stuff. I finally went into the Union building after it was mostly closed so it wasn't too helpful but it was nice to finally go in. I saw people playing frisbee and wanted to join but didn't manage to work up the nerve to ask to play. Shut up I'm not a socially adept person. Anyway after that I watched anime and sat around in my room. Sunday I went to IHOP for breakfast. It was pretty good and for less than 10 bucks I was more than happy with it. The rest of Sunday, I think I took some pictures around campus. I also went to see where my next dorm will be. It's really far from my lab unfortunately. It's at the southern edge of campus and probably a 10 to 15 minute walk whereas now I take less than 5 to get to lab. I think that was about it for Sunday. I probably watched anime and read papers too. I honestly don't remember.

Monday started the lab work for me. Saumen walked me through procedures and protocols to follow for the work we are doing. It was a strange thing to be introduced to a new lab and environment and work with completely new procedures and even types of samples. But it was good. Saumen, Dr. Lu, Igor, and I went out to lunch as well. We went to Joe's which is some type of brewery/bar thing. It was pretty good. I ended up getting 2 meals out of it because we got a huge appetizer tray that was enough for probably 5 or 6 people. So that was awesome because Dr. Lu paid for the meal and we were all sure to thank him a lot for that. I think I may try to eat there again before I leave. There were a lot of burgers that I wanted to try but I could only get one obviously. Anyway, we did more work after lunch and I finally got my safety exam stuff finished. Oh and Monday morning I also got my ID I think. AAHHHHHHH!!!! These days are all running together I don't remember when I did anything. I just know I have my ID, I finished my safety stuff, and I am now an official temporary member of the lab. I am working with stuff like PCR, transformations, site directed mutagenesis, and other stuff like that. Not sure what all of it means but I am doing it. And I got to freeze stuff with liquid nitrogen so that was fun. Haha. Hmmmmm... And I got an Illinois sweatshirt. It's bright orange and I really like it. And work tends to last until 7 or later each night. Tonight is probably going to be no different seeing as we have to PCR until 6. But hopefully that is the last thing to do. I don't know. We shall see. Well I think that is about all for this post. I will make a new one at some point. Maybe after I start using the stopped flow UV-Vis spectrometer. We shall see.

UIUC Part 3

Today was a good day. Had some more meetings. Got a tour of the library that I can't use without an ID anyway, but it was a good experience. Apparently its the biggest library in the country next to Harvard, but the largest public university library. Some people are trying to include me in some stuff, but it is not really the most successful or necessary gesture. Nor is it really wanted. These are not really my kind of people. Some may be but the majority are really not. I guess a B for their efforts is good enough though. Regardless. The better part of today is the thought that there is some progress being made toward the ID. Yay!! Just a few more signatures and I think I am good to join the lab. I took my safety exam today. It would have been really difficult if I hadn't been told that I could cheat. Which I needed to on multiple (scratch that, most) of the questions. I think it went alright though. Hopefully it was at least enough to pass. That's all that I need to get into the lab. Then one or two more things to do before I am an official member. Yay!! What else happened today? Well I just ate dinner, tonight was a very interesting combination of things I had pb&j, an orange, chips, and a cookie. And I had some white grape juice. It was good nonetheless. Well looks like because of this ID thing I am free tomorrow. I just have to make sure I see Dr. Lu and get his signatures. I guess I can go get some more stuff tomorrow. Maybe a different meal for dinner or maybe I will finally get some milk so I can have cereal and milk at the lab common room. Hmmmm... I do have some shopping to do so I will probably do that. I want to read that article from yesterday on Saartjie tonight. And I should look up some article for my research while I have the resources to look. I may just fill up a flash drive with papers so I can bring them back to widener. I also wanna look up grad schools and things like that. I guess I should get on that. Well that's all for tonight. Maybe I will watch some anime too. Hehe. It's my only consistency in the last 4 years. Haha. Adios for now. Oh and I also forgot to mention, Perry and Joy told me today that I am getting $546 (I think that was the number) for the summer. That's awesome. Ok bye.

UIUC Week 1 Part 2

Today is now Wednesday of the first week I think... Yeah it is. Ok anyway not even sure when the last time I wrote was. Was it yesterday or two days ago? Two days ago. Ok.

So let's start with still trying to get an ID thing. Such a pain. But it should be figured out by tomorrow, if not Friday. So yesterday what went on? Luckily I kept a list of thoughts on the day and I hope to keep doing that throughout.

Apparently I was scared, that is the first thing on my list. I had just found out that I needed to do a lot of studying of the safety stuff. I have been looking at it every free moment since then I think. But as of tonight I can do almost all of it without looking at the answers. It's great. Anyway back to my worrying yesterday. I had to figure out what the presentations are about. I had to do the studying for the test. I have 10 weeks for all this stuff. How am I supposed to finish it all? I just was so frustrated and worried and on top of that I still have to figure out this ID situation. Then there is the insane schedule of the McNair program that I don't even know what I have to do with it all? It's really quite annoying. Doing two programs is much harder than it first seemed.

That's really all I have written but I do remember that I had the first meeting with the Lu group yesterday. We had meetings from noon til 4 then I went to lab and waited for the meeting to begin at 5. The conference room filled with about 20 some people I would say. Dr. Lu joined and I finally met him. First up was a presentation of a one of the students in the lab. When he said that his presentation was 30 slides I was like... whoa... that's a lot. But soon I realized that it really wasn't. After that interesting talk, there was a big long presentation that everyone did slides of to discuss a few papers they read since the last meeting. It was a very interesting concept I hope that we can take that up in Dr. N's lab. It would be a great way to progress the research. So like I was saying that was a 70+ slide powerpoint. So once that meeting ended at 7:30, I got to finally return to my room. By then I was tired but the talks were really interesting even though I didn't get majority of it. So then it was a night of lounging and studying and dinner of course. I had an early morning the today so bed was relatively early.

Today was an early morning ride to the 4-H Memorial Camp. It was a team building workshop/obstacle course thing. It started with us meeting in a room and learning names. We also learned how to read a primary/secondary source (not the coolest thing but informative and I really want to read the full article I had to read for it). After that was lunch. I sat with some people that were interesting and curious about me. I had hamburgers and beans and ice cream. After that the group I just met and I walked around. We all found some sports equipment. I played volleyball and then some football. It was nice. Then we needed to start the team building exercises. That involved a bunch of activities. We had to pass a ball and see how fast we could get it around a circle, we got it to 2 seconds. Then we had to line up in order of birthdays without speaking. We weren't so good at that. Then we did a blindfolded trust exercise through an obstacle course where one person led another through the course. Then we swapped places and finished the course. Then we had to work as a team to complete two challenges. We had to order ourselves by height on a log without falling off. That was difficult but we did pretty well. We then had to cross a gap using a rope. And we had to bring a cure (a bucket of water...) across the gap as well. That was a really difficult challenge and we had to be given a few extra chances but it was a fun one regardless. After that we returned to the main area and sat and talked about the experience and what we learned. It was a great day. Afterward we returned, I got back to my room and reviewed the safety stuff more and made dinner. Then shower and now I'm about to finish the Serial Experiments Lain anime that I have been watching for the last week or two. By the way, one of the most confusing and philosophical anime I have ever seen. Very strange.

Well anyway, I have a library tour tomorrow morning and lunch with the McNair people. Then I will be going to the lab to take my safety exam. I hope this ID thing gets fixed by tomorrow so I can start working Friday. I feel bad that I am wasting so much time that can be used for Saumen's research. I guess that is how things go though sometimes. Well I am going to finish this show and probably hit the sack. Good night world.

University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign (UIUC) Summer 2012

Well for those who don't know I am here at UIUC doing research this summer for Dr. Yi Lu. I plan to keep you up to date on my experience in and out of the lab. So let's get into it.

This is now day two. I got on the plane to Chicago from Philly at, crap let me look for my ticket, 7:40am EST. I got to Philly by 5:30 ish. Had to wait about an hour and a half until my flight. I arrived in Chicago about 9am central time. Then I had a layover there until like 12:45pm. That was a long wait. Luckily I slept on the plane to Chicago, nearly the whole ride. Considering I had gotten up (if you consider the night before sleeping at all, I went to aunt caroline's couch at midnight about and woke up every half hour or so to check the clock to make sure the alarm would go off at the right time. Then I woke up finally awoke) at 4am. So anyway I was in the airport with super expensive restaurants and very little food in my stomach for approximately 3 and a half hours. At Philly I got a breakfast sandwich that cost about 4 dollars and a drink for another 2 bucks. Then in Chicago I got a donut for 89 cents (sweet, pretty much normal price!!) and milk for 2.50 (WHAT?!?!......okay...). By that time it was like 9:30... still 3 hours til my flight. Ok so I sat at gate H4 for a while. Realized that there was another flight at that gate before mine. Decided to walk around for a little to scout out possible lunches and allow anyone on this first flight to sit. Found a food court with McD's which is expensive in and of itself. Found a pizza place with 6 dollar pizza... (HOLY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! For that much I better be getting half a pizza!!!) Looked around a bit more. Went back to the gate that still had some time before boarding. At this point I am super bored and tired of walking and had no seat so I stood off to the side and decided to wait there. A little while later they started boarding, so as to not look like I was waiting for a seat, I walked a bit more over the same area I had seen earlier and made my way back to sit again. (Just found, I think my last clock that was still not set to local time, my computer of all things. Silly computer it's not 6:30, it's 5:30). Anyway, so I sat down again. Listened to and watched people, while listening to music in the other ear. Tried to get on the internet just to realize that Chicago does not have free internet, at least where I was in the airport like Philly does. Then I walked around a new area and decided to look for more food places and look over the departures board again, just to see. Well it was certainly a good idea, because now my gate was apparently G3. Good to know. At least I still have over an hour to get there and sit there. And of course the story wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention that this was not the first time that happened on this trip. The same happened at Philly. The gate I was given by the security lady was A3. I got to A3 and looked at the board that said some other random place that was certainly not Chicago. I then decided ok maybe I will look for other food and gates just to look. I found a departure board that said I was at A6, not A3. (Wow, that lady totally lied to me. Jeez. Haha.) So anyway back to Chicago. So I found G3 and sat and looked for food again. Decided that I had already spent enough and just wanted some water so I got a water bottle (for 3 bucks...) and sat til the plane arrived. Once on board, I had to pee... (god i just can't freakin win). I decided that a 50 minute plane to Champaign was not going to make me use the plane bathroom. So I slept instead and woke up to realize that the flight turned out to be only a half hour. By the way, one really good point to this trip, both plane rides were with no seat buddy. The first was me next to 1 empty seat and the second was me in a 1 seat row. AWWWWW YEAAAAAH!!!! Anyway.
So I arrived in Chicago and found the potty. Then I called my newest best buddy Igor, the graduate student I will be working with and the guy that gave me my first tour of the campus. We talked on the ride about my research and his schooling and other random things (the flatness of Illinois compared to Philly, which he also came from). He showed me a lot of buildings and random places that will likely become important as time goes on. We ate lunch after checking in, which is a story in itself that will happen in the next paragraph. We ate at some Mexican place that I just remember I had left overs and I put them in the fridge at the lab building and I have to remember to eat at some point. Anyway so we made our way around and he showed me more stuff including the lab and other important places in the Chemistry building, which is where I stored my food. Then he left me at my door and I was alone... all alone. Hmmmmmm... what do I do now? That was all I could think of then and even most of the night and even today that thought still lingers.

So on a slightly less depressing note, but not that much less. Check in was easy enough. I told the people at the front desk that I was here for a program and they gave me a card, which did not work. Joy. And asked if I wanted internet... yeah. So in a half assinine way I said "Well I would like some internet of some sort, that would be helpful." So the person hands me a router, ethernet cables, and a power cord... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really??? I have to say even Widener, although it's not great and I complain about it on a regular basis, has wireless internet. So they buzzed me in. I went to the room with router in hand and all the keys and card and stuff they gave me. Found my room. Opened it and saw 2 beds 2 desks and 2 closets. I can deal, it's pretty nice despite the tile floors (good thing I brought slippers). The closets also contained dressers... which took up the whole closet basically. How is this efficient? But whatever, this is a single room according to the lady in charge, so I took that to its full advantage. Once I got all my stuff in from Igor's car we went on our tour, so skip ahead to when I was left alone. I made my appropriate texts to loved ones and stuff like that. Then I sat. Checked my computer. Visualized where to put things. Thought about what has happened. And sat... Deep breath and start fiddling with stuff. Attach router first task, because I would like some internet please. Try to hook it up and the power cable does not go in the router... wth??? I walk back down to the front desk and tell the girl there now. She gets me another and I go back to my room.

Ok let's take a ramen break!!! Be back soon, actually for you this is an instant transition.

Ok I'm back and relatively full. Ok so where was I? Oh front desk back to room. So I figured out my router and got internet. Hung up clothes which were really wrinkled after being packed for 3 days. But whatever I will be wearing a lab coat anyway. So I moved everything to where I figured would be best and I think I have a pretty decent set up. It's actually a room I'm proud of. So room is ready. I think at that point I did emails and stuff. Then was my own tour time. I walked around and found places that would be important. I talked a few times with the front desk people (a few is an understatement, I basically asked them every question I thought of until they were likely sick of seeing me). Anyway, I learned of a website called eatcu.com which is all the food places on campus and deals they have and hours and where they are and phone numbers and everything you need to order food from there. It's probably the most useful site I have ever learned of. So I looked for places for dinner. And ended up at a pizza/sandwich place. I ate something called a chicken shoe. I figured it was a sandwich and so when I got back to my room and figured out it was basically cheese fries on a half a chicken sandwich I was like... oh crap. A fork and maybe a knife would be great right now. Well even still I ate my meal with my fingers. It was pretty messy but I did it. Then was shower time and anime watching time until bed. I barely made it through the show but did in the end. I conked out by 11 easily.

The morning began at 9, well actually before because my room is so cold that I couldn't sleep by that point. The thing is I had turned off the air at 4pm the previous day and it never warmed up. I was and still am confused at this strange property of this building. The weather here is hotter than home and just as humid. Today it was over 90 almost the entire day. I had my window open the entire time and it never got cold in here. It's so strange. I have not had the air on at all, windows all open and still no warmer than about 67. So after I arose from bed I headed toward the lab and 10:30 I met with the Postdoc, Saumen, whom I will be working with this summer. He showed me more in depth the lab and we talked for an hour or so on what he has done and what I will be doing. It was great to finally learn what I will be doing this summer. It's going to be a lot of new stuff. Lots of techniques I have never used before. So after that I decided to go shopping for stuff for my room which would be important for eating in because I had learned that I get no meal plan and combined with no kitchen I was pretty screwed with everything. But I visited Walgreens again, which I had visited the night before for a few odds and ends right before they closed. At that point I was going for just soap and a few other minor things again just to finish up that shopping and get some food for the room. Then I found a hot pot to boil water for 13 bucks and I talked to my parents and they said in more or less words that I should get it. Especially since I had figured that it would be paid for as long as I used it for like 2 meals. So after an hour or so of figuring out what to get and 76 dollars later, I now have a drawer of food for the next week or two hopefully and a way of making boiling water based foods. If anyone has suggestions of stuff to make LET ME KNOW PLEASE!!!!! Seriously this is the first time I have been so limited by food and money for it. Any help will do. Thanks.

So then when I got back I realized that I hadn't eaten yet today so I made PB and J. So after that I took another tour in a different direction of campus and got almost to the furthest border of campus from my dorm. So that leads me to blogging and dinner I guess and continuing this blog and sitting in my room talking to friends from Cali and Widener for several hours now. So yeah. That's my first 2 days in Illinois. Lots of walking and listening to music and thinking about stuff. Now it feels like shower time again and then reading safety guidelines while laying in bed I guess. Well farewell for the moment. Hopefully I will update this in some sort of regular basis and hopefully I will actually be enjoying myself by the next entry and hopefully I will be doing stuff by then. Ok adios.

Weeks 4 and 5... maybe...

I can't remember when the last post was. I guess I will have to look that over while I write this.

I guess the last post was 4th of July. That doesn't help me too much. But we will try anyway. Ok so I guess after that was Medical week. That was a rather long week of constant lectures. Pretty uneventful. Well I guess my drawing has gotten a bit better. I did more drawing then note taking during medical week. I know I'm an awful student, but I wasn't alone. It was a lot of repetitive stuff. We had Professors Cutler and Van Brocklin. I personally like Van Brocklin a bit better but I didn't like the lectures much, from the little I actually listened to. We had 4 lecturers on Friday as well. For that dinner we had Flames, a fancy diner. They had the BEST chocolate cake EVER!!! Ok, maybe not the best but it was really really really really good. And it was HUGE!!!!! So much chocolate!! Everyone was impressed when I finished nearly the entire thing myself. Anyone in my family would have never thought twice about it though.

So that weekend we did San Fran again. We went to Dr. Van Brocklin's lab at UCSF. It was interesting. I just remember seeing all the PET machines and other cool scanning devices. That night we went to Empress of China, I think that was the name. I didn't get anything though cause I'm not a fan of Chinese and I wasn't feeling very well that day.

The fifth week was upon us. This week would probably be the best yet. We visited two labs, Lawrence Livermore and Stanford. We had Prof. Shuh on Monday and he took us to Stanford. We saw the linear accelerator and lots of other stuff there. It was a nice size lab in the hills. After we went to Cold Stone. Yum. I liked David Shuh. During lecture he was the first and only until now to even mention theoretical chemistry as a viable option. It gave me hope because that is likely what I will do. I'm learning that I'm not a huge experimental chemist. I like ideas.

Tuesday we met Trish Baisden, likely one of the most influential nuclear chemists/women/scientists in the world. She is truly incredible. She is one of the top experts and she worked with Greg Chopin and Glenn Seaborg closely. So cool!!! Ali has decided to be her when she grows up. She lectured us. Then on Wednesday we had Paul Mantica, finally. He is the one who sent us all the calls of our acceptance. He is a truly amazing man as well. He is really cool. And I loved his lecture more than any so far. He also gave very inspirational advice later in the day when we had a session with Herb about graduate school. I found out a few things I did not know.

Then Thursday was the best trip so far. We went to Lawrence Livermore. We saw the Seaborg Institute, NIF, and CAMS. Such an incredible place. We listened to Post Docs talk about their research at LL. It was so cool to see people only a few years older than us who know so much. Incredible. Then we went to lunch at a country club. Then we went back to NIF and that was really cool. The most interesting part was not the fact that they focus 192 high intensity lasers at one point and make stuff explode. It was that they made 700 pound KDP crystals. That just blew my mind. I have made KDP crystals and they are not any bigger than a finger nail. 2 ounces maybe... not even close to 700 pounds!!! These things were freakin huge!!!!! It was so incredible. NIF was so cool. Then we went to CAMS. While this wasn't as cool as NIF, I will forever remember it as the place that for some unknown reason, really inspired me to want to continue my research at home.

Friday we had more lecturers. We had Sue Clark and another guy, I can't remember his name. I didn't find them that interesting. It was mostly about environment and protection and safety with radioactive materials and weapons. Afterward was dinner at Bella Mia.

Today is Saturday. And we went to Monterey. We went to the aquarium which was pretty cool. We then went back to Herb's condo. It was small but very nice. We went to the beach for a bit then to the pool. I just relaxed the whole time. I loved it. It was a very stressless day. For once. We had dinner at Tarpy's. It was a steakhouse. I got more chocolate. So yummy. Devil's food cake with chocolate mousse.

Great week overall. Down to the last one...sad... Oh well I guess this had to happen eventually. I just hope that we will keep in touch after this. We have all become so close. I love it. I'm gonna miss everyone here. A lot. Well I guess that's about all for the night. Tomorrow Harry Potter. Tuesday presentations. Thursday final. Saturday leave... Goodnight all.

Fourth of July Weekend

Another weekend down. This weekend was pretty good. We went back to Santa Cruz on Saturday. It was fun. We played lots of volleyball. Went on the boardwalk for a bit. Played more volleyball. Did some frisbee in there. Burned our feet on the sand. Played more volleyball. Then left. Got really burned while I was there. It still hurts. My previous burns on my shoulders which were minor, are now peeling. Now the entire upper part of my back is red. My shoulders and the upper right side of my chest is red. This is pretty sucky. Oh well. Not much can be done now but healing and peeling. Yesterday was spent doing lab reports all day. Two more reports are done now. Two left for the week. This week is looking promising. It's Medical week. Guest lecturers come in and teach about nuclear medicine. And there is only 1 new lab this week. The rest of the week is lectures.

Today was a pretty boring day. 4th of July is just not a favorite holiday of mine. And my mood all day has been gloomy at best. Oh well. I guess it's over now. Got to play lots of pool so that was good. Went to fireworks but I left because they were taking forever and now I'm here. The others I suppose are walking back now. I was told that I didn't miss much though so that makes it a bit better. I guess it's about bed time. Good night all.

Week 3

Well in all honesty there isn't too much to tell for this week. Our professor got some form of illness and had to be out all week. So this week we mostly started late and only had labs. Prayers go out to Professor Heino Neitsche. I only got to hear his lecture last week but he seems so amazing.

So Thursday was our most eventful day. We got to go to the Berkley campus and see all their super high tech gadgets and great stuff. They have so much stuff I can't even remember. We started our day with an hour long car ride. We were greeted by the people on Heino's research team. Unfortunately he couldn't make it himself. We went to the labs that all of them work in. In the HERL (Heavy Element Research Lab), we got fully dressed for the occasion. We got lab coats and gloves (which were so much better than the Nitrile ones I'm used to) and even booties that went over our shoes. We got to see all the glove boxes and other equipment they use in the lab. It was really cool. After that we went to a conference room where we met a bunch of people from Berkley and Heino's team. We were given lunch and presentations on some of the research done there. It was long but fairly interesting despite the fact that I didn't get most of it. I liked the super cool chairs the best though. They had the ability to adjust in every which way you can think of.

So after the presentations we went to the ALS (Advanced Light Source). It was a huge factory-like building in which they had all kinds of lasers and all kinds of different sources and detectors and everything you could think of and more. It was really impressive. After the ALS tour we got to go to the 88 inch cyclotron. And we saw all the super awesome detectors and other uber awesome things. I really can't remember all the things we saw it was such a long, tiring day. I have pictures though and those will hopefully be uploaded sometime soon. After the trip we went to a brewery called Pyramid. And they had everything beer there (not my environment, but it was food I am quite familiar with) and there was a frisbee there too. I really wish I would have picked it up, it was actually cheaper than the one I have now from Target. And it would have been an awesome souvenir. Oh well... So we ate dinner with a few of the team from Berkley. It was a nice dinner.

Today we had lecture with Prof. Steve Yates. I will be completely honest, I really didn't care much for his performance. It was very quiet and he turned me off to learning things today that I would love to actually learn about. I wasn't a fan. Then we had lab after lunch and his special lecture after that. Then we went to dinner at a place called Habana Cuba. It was a Cuban/Puerto Rican place. It was not bad. Probably not something I would go to again but it was ok. Well I think that is it. The plan for tomorrow, since we have the whole next 3 days to ourselves, is to go to Santa Cruz beach again. Volleyball, ultimate, and soccer. OH YEAH!!!!

Oh wow, I can't believe I forgot to talk about the dual tests we had this week. First was the Radiation Safety Final on Tuesday. That was alright, I had 7 wrong which gave me a 81.7%. So that was meh. Then Wednesday was the Midterm for lecture, that was when I learned that I really suck at studying. However, the results of that horrid study session were pretty great. I ended up with 17 wrong which somehow gave me an A-. Not so considering how crappy my studying was. Anyway, just thought I would brag a bit about that.

San Fran and week 2

Wow! I'm really bad at keeping this writing up. Ok quick overview of the week. We had a new professor, Dr. Dale Ensor of Tennessee Tech. We went over like 5 chapters or so this week. But that was the easy part. This week involved lots of lab stuff. We had a report due Monday and a lab to do each day. Then we had reports due also on Thursday and Friday. And there was also a radiation safety quiz and a weekly web quiz. This week was brutal. I'm sitting her at my computer on Friday night so worn out looking back on the week.

Today we had a full day of lecture and two guest lecturers as well. 7 hours total of sitting listening intently (a.k.a. barely keeping my head in a fully upright position). I wish I was able to keep awake for the whole time but it's really hard. Today's lecturers were Heino Nitsche and Brian Powell. They were interesting people. Heino will be our professor next week too. He was an interesting character and a very entertaining lecturer. After the lectures we went to a Japanese seafood and steakhouse. It was hibachi-style cooking with the chef making the food in front of us. That was really cool and it was my first time at anything like it. It was quite an experience and even Vic from the lab came with us. I love Vic he is such a character. Such a friendly guy. So yeah that was my week 2 and tomorrow is Santa Cruz. CAN NOT WAIT to play volleyball and frisbee in the sand on the beach. It will be EPIC!!! And in the morning is Redwood National Park another priceless opportunity. It will be AMAZING!!!!

So now let's backtrack to last weekend. San Fran. It was so awesome. All the students went and the TAs and Herb. Well we first started with the drive over there which was not bad. Apparently according to two other passengers, I'm a good radio DJ. Thanks Nomi and Jordan. Anyway we got there and we, except Herb, got onto a boat that brought us around the Bay and near Alcatraz and under the Golden Gate Bridge. It was so great. The skyline of San Fran is not nearly as skyline-y as Philly or New York, where you can't even see the sky from amongst the buildings. It was a nice city, except for the huge <45 degree roads. They were a pain, literally, to walk up. So anyway, after the cruise thing, we went to the marketplace and got lunch. Some people bought loaves of bread to bring back to eat at the I House, some didn't even make it back. It was really good.

After the marketplace we walked to Chinatown, where a lot of people like to sell fireworks for some reason... Anyway, we went to a few places that had Chinese art and other random trinkets. Probably the most entertaining part was when Kurt shot one of the tapioca balls from his bubble tea at a sign about 25 yards away with his straw. It was pretty amazing. So after Chinatown we made our way toward Union Square. There we went into Girardelli's!!!! YES!!! You know I got a souvenir. I got a pack of 4 large bars with a San Francisco box. And with it I got another free bar that I have been slowly devouring since.

Then we stopped by a few other stores and stuff. By that point it was getting close to the time for dinner. So we took a cable car back to the pier. That was a great trip. It was different definitely. So for dinner we went to Neptune's Palace. It was a pretty good dinner. Then afterwards I shared an amazing chocolate lava cake with Kalee and even Steve gave me a quarter or so of his. Herb stopped me just short of licking the plate. It was so delicious!!! I wish it could have been bigger, oh well. Then after dinner we left for the I House and San Jose. We tried to go to Lombard street but along the way we almost crashed twice and Herb was getting too frustrated to bother. So we just drove past it. Overall it was a very satisfying and entertaining trip. And for anyone who cares, it does get cold, especially in San Fran.

Well tomorrow will be good, hopefully the next week won't be as bad as I'm imagining. 4 lab reports due, on top of a radiation safety final, and lecture mid term. Not to mention going through 4 more chapters of notes. Well I guess we will see...

Week 1 San Jose

Day 3. Honestly it was really long. I can't remember much of it.

I got up at 7 and went down for breakfast. Then class started at 8:30. This first week we had Professor Paul Benny from Washington State University. He taught us about the history of Nuclear Chemistry, which I actually had learned about, reading the Glenn Seaborg book I borrowed from the Chemistry Department back home. Class is nice here because we get recess. Yeah. Not since 5th grade have I had recess. It's nice though because 3 and 4 hours of lecture is really tough to get through at once. So for recess we went to the courtyard and played frisbee and volleyball. Lots of fun.

Then lunch was at noon and we had an extended period that was intended for a tour but didn't need it considering we have been around the area quite a bit. So lab lecture was after the break period. We learned about radiation safety and different little things from Vic from the lab. Vic was cool enough to let us out at 4 instead of 5.

After class a large group of us went around and took some pictures.

Update
Honestly I don't remember much of the stuff that happened a few days ago. During the walk we went a lot of places. I think this was the day I got quite a few good pictures.

Day 2 of class was fun too this would be the first day in the lab. We got our radiation badges and temporary lab coats and even some new goggles to keep. The first day was spent learning about Geiger counters and working to find radioactive areas in the lab that Vic made for us to practice. We had lots of recess during lab lecture with Vic because he is AWESOME!!

After class was spent doing pretty much nothing. We had a quiz to do from Frank Kinard one of the main professors in charge. I actually just got my results 9.75/10. Oh yeah!

The next day however was much more demanding. We had a real lab to do. It was not child's play but it was cool nonetheless. The day started with class until lunch. Then after lunch was lab lecture and lab. First lab, I got paired with Steve. We did a great job on the sealed sources. It was cool to learn more about how G-M counters work and the data was fun to take. However, working with it afterward was ANNOYING!!!! So tedious. So that night was spent working until about 10 on the report then I just stopped. Bed after that.

Day 5 of San Jose was probably the worst yet. Class was usual, learned a fair amount. Then lunch, lab lecture and lab 2. But after class, dinner then lab report 1 from 6pm to 12pm. That was tiring. And really FRUSTRATING!!!! But Travis and Ali had it worse because they stayed up until 6am doing it. Don't know how they survived today.

Today was not bad so far. About to head to lab lecture and lab. So I shall finish this later.

Update again!

The lectures were pretty good. Still not sure if I really want to do nuclear chemistry though. Dr. Ralf Sudowe and Dr. Paul Carol were the lecturers for the first week. Dr. Sudowe did a presentation on the Japan meltdown. It was really informative and quite enlightening. Dr. Carol did a presentation on high energy reactions, basically smashing really big stuff together. (Well big on the atomic scale!!)

After the lectures, which, while interesting, were still able to make us sleepy, we went to dinner at Teske's, a German restaurant. It was so good. I had veal cordon bleu (a very "German" dish...). We talked with Dr. Benny, our professor for the last week and the other two lecturers and Herb. It was a whole lot of fun.

After dinner ended at 7ish we walked home. When we got back a few of us played pool until bed. Lots of fun was had. And today was even better. San Fran. But that is for another post.

Day 2 San Jose

Day two started with a crappy night sleep. Oh well. Not much could be done. Tired but still surviving. Woke up at 9, showered, then breakfast. After that 9 of us went out with Kurt and played Frisbee and football. Then we walked around Downtown. So much nicer than Philly. It’s like a big city but not. It’s so nice. I like the smaller buildings and more spacious environment. I can’t wait until I can be a tourist and go around taking pictures for everyone to see. We are currently sitting around. Everyone is playing card games. I believe we are going to dinner around 5 (it’s now about 1:30), I think it’s somewhere called the Elephant Bar. I shall return later to update this about the rest of the day.

Update

Well today was a very active day. After the morning activities, a group of us went to the park again and played Frisbee and kicked the new volleyball. Then Kurt joined and threw Frisbee. Then played volleyball without a net. Then Ali, Kalee, and Logan joined as well and we played volleyball for a few hours. Then we went back to the I House to get cleaned up before dinner.

Around 5, we went to the Elephant Bar. I had way more food than I have had in a long time. I was so full. Steak and shrimp and brownie dessert. So delicious. We also had a professor and Herb and his wife come with us along with Kurt and Brandon. Afterward we went back to the I House and Ali and I decided we wanted to tourist it up and take pictures of the surrounding area. Eventually a bunch of others joined in and we had a group of about 10 people walking around. We ended up taking few pictures but it was fun nonetheless. So Ali and I will go around tomorrow or some other day to take more pictures. When we got back Travis, Jeff and I went to the basement and played a bit of pool before bed. And that is the end of day 2. Tomorrow is the first day of classes and I am pretty nervous/excited. We shall see how this goes.

Day 1 San Jose

Well first day is complete but there is no internet currently so this will probably go up pretty late. Anyway. First day. Got on first plane in Philly at around 6am EST. Got to Minneapolis at around 8am local time which means the flight was around 3 hours (yeah first time zone switch). Then met up with my awesome roommate Travis because we luckily picked the same flight to San Jose. We got out plane around 9:30 ish local time and then landed in Cali at 11:30 ish Pacific time (meaning the flight was 4 hours).

We landed and found Brandon, one of our awesome TAs. He gave us a tour of the local area and gave us some tips about the class seeing as he was in our boat last year. Eventually we got to the I-House, our home for the next 6 weeks. There we got a room and keys to everything. We met up with the only people here before us, Ali and Jordan. We moved our stuff in and during that time Jeff also moved in. Then all 5 of us took a long walk around the area. We got lost and really had an interesting time trying to figure out where we were going. Eventually when we made our way back, I just happened to make a lucky guess of which street our building was on. Apparently now I am the designated direction rememberer.

So when we got back we met with Kalee another of the girls here. Then a few of us went with Brandon to find out where the gym is. When we returned Travis, Jeff and I went to the basement to play foosball and pool. Eventually Kalee also joined. Ali had fallen into a coma like sleep while she was in her bed. Later we got pizza for dinner and the 5 of us (Ali was still sleeping) ate with Herb, one of the professors in charge, and the TAs, Brandon and Kurt, also students from last year. We all talked about the program and all the interesting and fun stuff that will happen while we are here.

After dinner Ali, Kalee, Travis, Jeff and I all went around and tried to look for a park where we could play Frisbee. This took way longer than intended because eventually we realized we were going the wrong direction. When we finally made our way to the real park we threw for quite a while. Then we found a trail that lead to a little stream-like body of water and we stayed there and talked for a while. By the time we left it was well after 8pm. Then we came back to greet our other classmates who had just arrived or otherwise had yet to arrive.
When we found all those who had arrived, we made our ways to the basement again. We played some pool. We talked about ourselves. By the end of this bonding time it was well after 11pm if not midnight. I was falling asleep sitting up. And so concludes our first day at Nuclear Summer School. Day 2 looks to be fun. We shall see.