Hey everyone,
This is my first post from grad school. It's been a really long time since I posted but I figured why not write one, even if I don't have much to say, just to start my grad school posts. So here is a little of what has gone on in the last few weeks.
So far I have two classes. One is taught by one of the professors I will be in lab with and it is about aerosols (I'm in a lab for atmospheric chemistry for those who don't know) and I actually am presenting a paper on Tuesday. Woo hoo. And my other class is on nanoparticles and it only very slightly involves the stuff I am going to be research, in that aerosols are technically classified as nanoparticles. Regardless the classes are not too bad. I kinda enjoy only having two. Aside from class I am a TA now (yay on the road to being a professor). It's actually really enjoyable. I like teaching the kids about how things work and what things they should look out for. Although it's kinda scary to think I (and 6-8 other people) am responsible for all these kids lives. So safety is a huge deal that I am trying to help them with as well. Other than those responsibilities I don't have much going on. I do shadow people in the CAPS labs so I can get accustomed to doing the research aspect of my grad school career (essentially the entirety of that career). But that is the school stuff I have been up to. Outside of that I have been involved with the MCS Future Leaders in Science which is an outreach group for chemistry and it's really awesome. This weekend actually there is a chemistry carnival and I am really looking forward to it and doing the demo with people. I am also hoping to see lots of kids and teaching them about science. Should be fun. =]
What else is happening? Good question. Honestly not much. My time at home is basically spent reading stuff for class and research, watching Youtube, and talking to my girlfriend. Not too much else. I have started watching Achievement Hunter/Rooster Teeth series on Youtube, for those who don't know they are a bunch of guys who play video games as their job. They are quite hilarious and I really suggest you watch them if you even remotely like video games and/or enjoy people-getting-mad-at-each-other humor. Oh another thing I recently did was purchase my first Humble Indie bundle. Probably the most awesome idea anyone has ever had. You get a bunch of games for whatever you want to pay. Ten bucks got me almost 10 games and I just beat one of them and it was probably one of the most awesome puzzle games I ever played. I really suggest it to people who have not learned about it yet. Those people do great work. I also started an anime last night called Steins;Gate. Very strange time travel/conspiracy anime. Not sure about it but I hope to finish it this week and I can give thoughts then.
One piece of bad news I just learned of a few days ago. My stream from Extra Life 4 Kids was not saved on the website I used and now it's gone forever. I am really upset about this, but we all move on. So if anyone has any plans to do a stream for the cause let me know I am totally game. I hope to make this a tradition if I manage to get better equipment for recording.
That is pretty much it. I have gotten situated in my house and am pretty satisfied with it. I finally get paid my first real check within 8 days. I can't wait to see how much it will be. I still haven't figured out how much tax will be taken out but if it's the same rate as the first minor check then I am looking at a lot of money. Yay!!
Ok well I just thought I would update everyone. Maybe I will come up with something more fun to talk about next time. Who knows. Adios everyone. Oh and feel free to visit me whenever you want. Just kidding but seriously I wouldn't mind housing one or two people for a night if you want to make a trip.
Showing posts with label anime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anime. Show all posts
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Fullmetal Alchemist
Just started watching the second series of Fullmetal Alchemist called Brotherhood. For those who don't know this is another anime series. It is probably my most favorite anime series yet. It follows the story of two brothers who are alchemists. I have decided to talk a bit about some stuff from the series.
First I will tell you a bit about the story. ***There are spoilers for those who have not seen the series so BEWARE.*** And I will not speak in the same order that the original series happens; I will try to present things in the correct chronological order.
The boys, Edward and Alphonse, grow up with their mother. When they were around 9 and 8 years old, their mother got sick and died. By this time the brothers were talented at the art of alchemy, a science of understanding, deconstructing and reconstructing matter. Well the brothers are extremely distraught over this loss and they vow to bring her back no matter what. When they finally have the materials and knowledge to attempt the transmutation of humans, they attempt to bring their mother back. In the process of committing this taboo, Edward loses his left leg and Alphonse loses his entire body. They end up creating something that is not human at all. Edward cannot lose his mother and brother, so he binds his brother's soul to a suit of armor that was in the room by giving up his right arm. Al awakens in a suit of armor without a real body. He brings his older brother to their neighbor who works with mechanical prosthetic limbs called automail. They give him a new arm and leg. This is the basic motive for the rest of the series. The brothers wish to get back their bodies by any means necessary.
Ok, so that was way more than a bit, but I assure you there is almost nothing of their actual adventure here.
So the boys spend the entire series trying to get their bodies back. Along the way Edward becomes a state alchemist, which is essentially a soldier. He works as part of the military and tries to find out the military's secrets on the philosopher's stone. The stone has mystical powers and doesn't follow the law of equivalent exchange. "Humankind cannot gain anything without giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange." This is the only way that Ed and Al could get their body's back to normal. If only it were that simple.
The boys run into all kinds of trouble and meet many people both good and bad that they befriend or defeat. They find out a lot about both the stone and themselves. Some of these lessons have a science versus religion type of light to them. Others have a political corruption type of story. So many ideas that are almost inspirational. Through the troubles the brothers become stronger and bond together more than ever before. They face enemies that are diabolical and some who were simply steered in the wrong direction.
There is so much more behind the story that I have no mentioned, but I have actually driven way off track. I have given much more about the story than I originally planned. Oh well.
I was originally writing this because I wanted to reveal some of the themes and lessons learned from the story.
Probably the most memorable lesson that the brothers learned in the series was "humans are not gods". The brothers learned this many times through the series. They originally believed that they had unlimited power and potential. They were able to do anything. Then they try to bring back their mother. This is the first time they see it. Then again later on. Ed feels helpless when he tries to save his one childhood friend after his arm has been taken (without it he is not easily able to transmute anything). He is trying to fight with a huge disadvantage and feels completely helpless. He is scared for the first time in the show during this instance. Then later he is unable to save a girl after she was transmuted into a chimera by her father. This episode by the way was the second saddest point in the series. I can't help but tear up. Another time one of their close friends is killed in cold blood by things whom the brothers were after. He had a wife and a child that were left behind. This is the saddest part of the series. This one I actually start crying at. The brothers lose so much and really do find out that they are not gods. They are humans that are restricted by the limits of the human condition. It is a lesson that everyone has to learn on their own. Scientists aren't gods, athletes aren't, musicians aren't, military men, businessmen, workers, no one. No one is a god. We are all just helpless humans trying to survive in a world that is too big for us.
There were also a lot of things that happen in the series that revolve around political corruption. It happens early that the brothers get leads on the stone that involves several high ranking officials in the military. There is more than meets the eye however. This revelation of several officials being against the country has others questioning more than just these few. This is how the friend of the brothers' is lost. He finds out somethings that he shouldn't have. It progresses with other people discovering even more about the corruption. The series closes with a horrible revelation that more than a few people are not who they say they are.
The after-story is a much more confusing topic, so I will not talk about that. It leads more into religion and parallel universes and stuff like that. If you want to really find out the whole story, watch it yourself. Fullmetal Alchemist, then the movie Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa.
There is also the second series that I discussed earlier. This series is much the same as the first. It is just longer and the story is actually in a less-confusing chronological order. There are also a few parts that are changed a bit. But so far much of the story is the same. I don't know what will happen with the rest of the series though. I will just have to see. Well that will be all for now.
First I will tell you a bit about the story. ***There are spoilers for those who have not seen the series so BEWARE.*** And I will not speak in the same order that the original series happens; I will try to present things in the correct chronological order.
The boys, Edward and Alphonse, grow up with their mother. When they were around 9 and 8 years old, their mother got sick and died. By this time the brothers were talented at the art of alchemy, a science of understanding, deconstructing and reconstructing matter. Well the brothers are extremely distraught over this loss and they vow to bring her back no matter what. When they finally have the materials and knowledge to attempt the transmutation of humans, they attempt to bring their mother back. In the process of committing this taboo, Edward loses his left leg and Alphonse loses his entire body. They end up creating something that is not human at all. Edward cannot lose his mother and brother, so he binds his brother's soul to a suit of armor that was in the room by giving up his right arm. Al awakens in a suit of armor without a real body. He brings his older brother to their neighbor who works with mechanical prosthetic limbs called automail. They give him a new arm and leg. This is the basic motive for the rest of the series. The brothers wish to get back their bodies by any means necessary.
Ok, so that was way more than a bit, but I assure you there is almost nothing of their actual adventure here.
So the boys spend the entire series trying to get their bodies back. Along the way Edward becomes a state alchemist, which is essentially a soldier. He works as part of the military and tries to find out the military's secrets on the philosopher's stone. The stone has mystical powers and doesn't follow the law of equivalent exchange. "Humankind cannot gain anything without giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange." This is the only way that Ed and Al could get their body's back to normal. If only it were that simple.
The boys run into all kinds of trouble and meet many people both good and bad that they befriend or defeat. They find out a lot about both the stone and themselves. Some of these lessons have a science versus religion type of light to them. Others have a political corruption type of story. So many ideas that are almost inspirational. Through the troubles the brothers become stronger and bond together more than ever before. They face enemies that are diabolical and some who were simply steered in the wrong direction.
There is so much more behind the story that I have no mentioned, but I have actually driven way off track. I have given much more about the story than I originally planned. Oh well.
I was originally writing this because I wanted to reveal some of the themes and lessons learned from the story.
Probably the most memorable lesson that the brothers learned in the series was "humans are not gods". The brothers learned this many times through the series. They originally believed that they had unlimited power and potential. They were able to do anything. Then they try to bring back their mother. This is the first time they see it. Then again later on. Ed feels helpless when he tries to save his one childhood friend after his arm has been taken (without it he is not easily able to transmute anything). He is trying to fight with a huge disadvantage and feels completely helpless. He is scared for the first time in the show during this instance. Then later he is unable to save a girl after she was transmuted into a chimera by her father. This episode by the way was the second saddest point in the series. I can't help but tear up. Another time one of their close friends is killed in cold blood by things whom the brothers were after. He had a wife and a child that were left behind. This is the saddest part of the series. This one I actually start crying at. The brothers lose so much and really do find out that they are not gods. They are humans that are restricted by the limits of the human condition. It is a lesson that everyone has to learn on their own. Scientists aren't gods, athletes aren't, musicians aren't, military men, businessmen, workers, no one. No one is a god. We are all just helpless humans trying to survive in a world that is too big for us.
There were also a lot of things that happen in the series that revolve around political corruption. It happens early that the brothers get leads on the stone that involves several high ranking officials in the military. There is more than meets the eye however. This revelation of several officials being against the country has others questioning more than just these few. This is how the friend of the brothers' is lost. He finds out somethings that he shouldn't have. It progresses with other people discovering even more about the corruption. The series closes with a horrible revelation that more than a few people are not who they say they are.
The after-story is a much more confusing topic, so I will not talk about that. It leads more into religion and parallel universes and stuff like that. If you want to really find out the whole story, watch it yourself. Fullmetal Alchemist, then the movie Fullmetal Alchemist: Conqueror of Shamballa.
There is also the second series that I discussed earlier. This series is much the same as the first. It is just longer and the story is actually in a less-confusing chronological order. There are also a few parts that are changed a bit. But so far much of the story is the same. I don't know what will happen with the rest of the series though. I will just have to see. Well that will be all for now.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Relationships
Well hopefully this is a better received subject than the previous post more than likely was. I plan to talk about something that I, in all honesty, know near nothing about. I have no idea how long this post will be considering my lack of actual experience in the area. Nonetheless, I plan to provide whatever I can.
Well as some of you have read, I have had my share of disappointing events that never resulted in any form of relationship worth noting. In fact the most critical one pertaining to my life had to end the friendship nearly entirely. It is quite a depressing life I lead in the area of relationships.
At times this is the most devastating thing I can think of and I obsess over it. My mind becomes easily obsessed over pretty much anything. That is the reason behind this blog (although some people would much prefer to be entertained). I will suddenly have an almost nose-dive into a depressive state when I obsess over such things. This is no different. When I realize how inefficient I am at obtaining a mate, in biological terms. I just think about how little future I have with this as well. If I have gone 19 years without a partner, what is to prevent me from having no mate for another few decades? How could I possibly make this turn out differently?
I realize that I am not a people person. I am not an ideal candidate for anyone. I am tall, lanky, frail, pale, weak, all I think about is school and learning, I am not great with any form of conversation, I avoid all forms of risk as much as possible. In no way are any of these traits desirable for a means of passing on genes. There is little that is actually positive and I try to dwell on those few things, but it just isn't enough sometimes. Yeah, I care about people and I am willing to sacrifice for people I love, but that's about all I can give. Well I could teach you some of my knowledge, if that is really what you want, but even that is limited. These are my lowest times, but I come out alright every time.
There are actually other times when I start thinking the opposite way. Even if I was able to be with someone, I don't think I would want to. I mean, having someone to lean on and have for comfort is fine, but there is so much that can go wrong. Faithfulness, trust, sacrifice, love. All of these things take so much energy to actually maintain or worry that the other is maintaining. Then there is what happens when one of these is changed. So many consequences. All I want to do is learn and learn and learn anything and everything. Nothing will take that goal from me. Nothing and no one. It is my dream and no one is worth it. These are the thoughts that run through my head. Then the fact that I am not good at so many things is also swaying me to this side. I can't even have a decent conversation with family and friends, how could I keep a spouse or partner when I can't even small talk? How can I remain interesting when all I know is Chemistry and Physics and other science things? It just isn't worth all the work, is all I can think when I am in this mindset.
I don't know what to think. I have so many things floating through my head that I just live with what I have and try what I can. I do get attached to people fairly easily so long as I can trust them. This sometimes gets me in trouble, as you have probably seen.
Now, while I am talking of relationships and my thoughts. I figure I may as well talk about my ideal relationship. Of course this comes from a childhood of Disney movies and lots of cartoon with happy endings. First, I am a person that really can't stand stupid people. I want to be with someone who is equal or near equal to my intelligence level. I don't want to be in a million relationships in my life before finding the right person. I want it to be the first person forever. I just want the love and desire to be mutual and powerful.
I am again going to relate this to an anime much like in a previous post. Eureka 7 is a show that really displays the type of love I am searching for. It's a type of love that even through rough times survives and if nothing else thrives. I wouldn't go about things the same way Renton does, but he does end up with Eureka nonetheless. Their love is a love that has no bounds. Renton loves Eureka no matter what she is, which becomes important in the later part of the series.
I think this is really all I have on this subject which may actually be more than I expected. Anyway as always comment as you wish, or not.
Well as some of you have read, I have had my share of disappointing events that never resulted in any form of relationship worth noting. In fact the most critical one pertaining to my life had to end the friendship nearly entirely. It is quite a depressing life I lead in the area of relationships.
At times this is the most devastating thing I can think of and I obsess over it. My mind becomes easily obsessed over pretty much anything. That is the reason behind this blog (although some people would much prefer to be entertained). I will suddenly have an almost nose-dive into a depressive state when I obsess over such things. This is no different. When I realize how inefficient I am at obtaining a mate, in biological terms. I just think about how little future I have with this as well. If I have gone 19 years without a partner, what is to prevent me from having no mate for another few decades? How could I possibly make this turn out differently?
I realize that I am not a people person. I am not an ideal candidate for anyone. I am tall, lanky, frail, pale, weak, all I think about is school and learning, I am not great with any form of conversation, I avoid all forms of risk as much as possible. In no way are any of these traits desirable for a means of passing on genes. There is little that is actually positive and I try to dwell on those few things, but it just isn't enough sometimes. Yeah, I care about people and I am willing to sacrifice for people I love, but that's about all I can give. Well I could teach you some of my knowledge, if that is really what you want, but even that is limited. These are my lowest times, but I come out alright every time.
There are actually other times when I start thinking the opposite way. Even if I was able to be with someone, I don't think I would want to. I mean, having someone to lean on and have for comfort is fine, but there is so much that can go wrong. Faithfulness, trust, sacrifice, love. All of these things take so much energy to actually maintain or worry that the other is maintaining. Then there is what happens when one of these is changed. So many consequences. All I want to do is learn and learn and learn anything and everything. Nothing will take that goal from me. Nothing and no one. It is my dream and no one is worth it. These are the thoughts that run through my head. Then the fact that I am not good at so many things is also swaying me to this side. I can't even have a decent conversation with family and friends, how could I keep a spouse or partner when I can't even small talk? How can I remain interesting when all I know is Chemistry and Physics and other science things? It just isn't worth all the work, is all I can think when I am in this mindset.
I don't know what to think. I have so many things floating through my head that I just live with what I have and try what I can. I do get attached to people fairly easily so long as I can trust them. This sometimes gets me in trouble, as you have probably seen.
Now, while I am talking of relationships and my thoughts. I figure I may as well talk about my ideal relationship. Of course this comes from a childhood of Disney movies and lots of cartoon with happy endings. First, I am a person that really can't stand stupid people. I want to be with someone who is equal or near equal to my intelligence level. I don't want to be in a million relationships in my life before finding the right person. I want it to be the first person forever. I just want the love and desire to be mutual and powerful.
I am again going to relate this to an anime much like in a previous post. Eureka 7 is a show that really displays the type of love I am searching for. It's a type of love that even through rough times survives and if nothing else thrives. I wouldn't go about things the same way Renton does, but he does end up with Eureka nonetheless. Their love is a love that has no bounds. Renton loves Eureka no matter what she is, which becomes important in the later part of the series.
I think this is really all I have on this subject which may actually be more than I expected. Anyway as always comment as you wish, or not.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Bored in my room until lunch
Well, I'm back again and bored as ever. No research today because Dr. Bastin has a demo of new equipment for labs and then has class so he can't help us out. Just one class and EWB meeting tonight. I'm sure this won't be my only post today. Now it's just a matter of figuring out something to post.
I actually was looking at some other blogs a bit ago and found a person that has an interesting blog. I read a few of her past posts and they are really enjoyable to read. I would post her blog on here but I don't want to creep her out at all. If she responds to the comment I posted I may add it on here for others to read. She, like I feel I will have soon enough, has very few readers.
Anyway...
Not sure what to write about. I haven't been too philosophical this morning. I just feel like lounging and sleeping. I can't stop thinking about Neon Genesis. It is such a good show.
I guess I can talk about research this summer. I have been working under several professors from the Chem department. First was Dr. Van Bramer, we worked on freshman labs and basically did them over and over again. It was fun. Next was Dr. Nagengast, which is a lab I wish I never entered for the simple reason that now I am interested in Biochem. I never even considered it before then, and now I have another possible minor for myself. Joy. After her was Dr. Martin, my Chem adviser, that was actually a lot more fun than the others were saying. I enjoyed it a lot. It was a lot of sitting and waiting but it was a really good learning experience. Now as I said, I'm with Dr. Bastin, who will be my Organic Chem teacher next semester. He is pretty cool, I just wish he would give us more time in the lab. It is now Wednesday and I have worked only 6 hours so far. I should have worked at least twice that amount by the end of the day. Oh well, what can you do.
Then there is a few other professor we will be working with the next few weeks. Not sure who yet, but it should be cool.
Later this summer, as in August 11-17, I will be in Flagstaff, Arizona with Dr. Augensen and Scott Snell. We are doing observing in Lowell Observatory. I hope it is as exciting as it sounds. I don't anticipate it to be any less though.
Well that took a half hour so far. Now another half hour until lunch. Let's see...
I can't think of anything important well I guess that means I will leave anything I think of until later. Bye bye.
I actually was looking at some other blogs a bit ago and found a person that has an interesting blog. I read a few of her past posts and they are really enjoyable to read. I would post her blog on here but I don't want to creep her out at all. If she responds to the comment I posted I may add it on here for others to read. She, like I feel I will have soon enough, has very few readers.
Anyway...
Not sure what to write about. I haven't been too philosophical this morning. I just feel like lounging and sleeping. I can't stop thinking about Neon Genesis. It is such a good show.
I guess I can talk about research this summer. I have been working under several professors from the Chem department. First was Dr. Van Bramer, we worked on freshman labs and basically did them over and over again. It was fun. Next was Dr. Nagengast, which is a lab I wish I never entered for the simple reason that now I am interested in Biochem. I never even considered it before then, and now I have another possible minor for myself. Joy. After her was Dr. Martin, my Chem adviser, that was actually a lot more fun than the others were saying. I enjoyed it a lot. It was a lot of sitting and waiting but it was a really good learning experience. Now as I said, I'm with Dr. Bastin, who will be my Organic Chem teacher next semester. He is pretty cool, I just wish he would give us more time in the lab. It is now Wednesday and I have worked only 6 hours so far. I should have worked at least twice that amount by the end of the day. Oh well, what can you do.
Then there is a few other professor we will be working with the next few weeks. Not sure who yet, but it should be cool.
Later this summer, as in August 11-17, I will be in Flagstaff, Arizona with Dr. Augensen and Scott Snell. We are doing observing in Lowell Observatory. I hope it is as exciting as it sounds. I don't anticipate it to be any less though.
Well that took a half hour so far. Now another half hour until lunch. Let's see...
I can't think of anything important well I guess that means I will leave anything I think of until later. Bye bye.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Neon Genesis Evangelion
I have been watching the series called Neon Genesis Evangelion for the second time through for the last few weeks. I decided that I would talk about it for my first official post about something consequential.
Neon Genesis Evangelion, for those who don't know is an anime series. It is a really detailed story based around a government organization called NERV. They have these giant robot/mecha things, called EVA, that fight off alien beings called Angels. This story is long and you need to watch the whole 26-episode series to really understand it. I recommend watching it at least twice to actually understand it to a decent degree.
The story is based around several children and a few adults who have to use these EVAs to kill the enemy Angels. It is an extremely psychologically disturbing show. The children who pilot the EVA are destroyed mentally by the combat they face and the corruption in NERV. Several adult characters too are affected by these problems and suffer greatly as a result.
I actually just looked at a few things on the series and found out that the director had been diagnosed with clinical depression before writing the series and used his experiences with it to write about.
The last few episodes are the part of the series that are the most twisted and where everything starts to fall into place. I personally learned new things about the series the second time through and I bet another watch would reveal even more.
I wish I were able to explain the things that these people went through, but I can't in any reasonable time. If you haven't seen the series and want to watch it I will post the link to where I watched it. http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/neon-genesis-evangelion-episode-1-english-dubbed-online-free#English
I have just finished the series and I wish to comment on the last episode which is a really inspirational one if nothing else. There are many things that the main protagonist learns. It is really cool because anyone that is depressed or confused or distraught about life can refer to these things and it may help. I think that was the director's meaning behind the episode and the series at that.
The first message is "You are your own reality, you create your own reality." This is one of the many things that were learned by the protagonists, Shinji. You can do whatever you want. You are the creator and writer of your own fate and life. If you don't want to do something that you are being forced to do, you don't have to. You are what you do and you do what you want. If you don't do what you want there is no reason for you to be living your life. As harsh as that sounds, I think that is about right. I believe I understand where he is coming from on that.
The next message is "You can't recognize your own image without others." This one is rather interesting and I never thought of it before. In other words if there is no others there is no difference to distinguish yourself. This message is one that I could have been better off learning earlier in life. Shinji was a lonely person much like many other characters in the series. I was also like this and at times I still am. He wished for a reality that was empty and void of all others. He learns that without others in your life there is no real way that you can see your own image. You can't know who you are without knowing who others perceive you as or how you act and react with and to others. Through time of seeing how others perceive you, you create your own image of who you are. So in a way, others create you just as much as you create you. Everyone you know has their own mind's image of you and you of everyone else.
One other message is "Reality and truth are perspectives." Everyone knows what they know and believe what they believe. These could be completely different from what you believe or know, but each is just as true to the two of you. This is what is meant by the message. "There are as many truths as there are people on this earth, " that is a direct quote from the show. It really describes the variability of humans and their minds.
I hope that some people have some comments on these things because I would like to think about it a bit more. Well, I guess that is enough, my tutoring session is over now, so I must be going. Farewell for tonight.
Neon Genesis Evangelion, for those who don't know is an anime series. It is a really detailed story based around a government organization called NERV. They have these giant robot/mecha things, called EVA, that fight off alien beings called Angels. This story is long and you need to watch the whole 26-episode series to really understand it. I recommend watching it at least twice to actually understand it to a decent degree.
The story is based around several children and a few adults who have to use these EVAs to kill the enemy Angels. It is an extremely psychologically disturbing show. The children who pilot the EVA are destroyed mentally by the combat they face and the corruption in NERV. Several adult characters too are affected by these problems and suffer greatly as a result.
I actually just looked at a few things on the series and found out that the director had been diagnosed with clinical depression before writing the series and used his experiences with it to write about.
The last few episodes are the part of the series that are the most twisted and where everything starts to fall into place. I personally learned new things about the series the second time through and I bet another watch would reveal even more.
I wish I were able to explain the things that these people went through, but I can't in any reasonable time. If you haven't seen the series and want to watch it I will post the link to where I watched it. http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/neon-genesis-evangelion-episode-1-english-dubbed-online-free#English
I have just finished the series and I wish to comment on the last episode which is a really inspirational one if nothing else. There are many things that the main protagonist learns. It is really cool because anyone that is depressed or confused or distraught about life can refer to these things and it may help. I think that was the director's meaning behind the episode and the series at that.
The first message is "You are your own reality, you create your own reality." This is one of the many things that were learned by the protagonists, Shinji. You can do whatever you want. You are the creator and writer of your own fate and life. If you don't want to do something that you are being forced to do, you don't have to. You are what you do and you do what you want. If you don't do what you want there is no reason for you to be living your life. As harsh as that sounds, I think that is about right. I believe I understand where he is coming from on that.
The next message is "You can't recognize your own image without others." This one is rather interesting and I never thought of it before. In other words if there is no others there is no difference to distinguish yourself. This message is one that I could have been better off learning earlier in life. Shinji was a lonely person much like many other characters in the series. I was also like this and at times I still am. He wished for a reality that was empty and void of all others. He learns that without others in your life there is no real way that you can see your own image. You can't know who you are without knowing who others perceive you as or how you act and react with and to others. Through time of seeing how others perceive you, you create your own image of who you are. So in a way, others create you just as much as you create you. Everyone you know has their own mind's image of you and you of everyone else.
One other message is "Reality and truth are perspectives." Everyone knows what they know and believe what they believe. These could be completely different from what you believe or know, but each is just as true to the two of you. This is what is meant by the message. "There are as many truths as there are people on this earth, " that is a direct quote from the show. It really describes the variability of humans and their minds.
I hope that some people have some comments on these things because I would like to think about it a bit more. Well, I guess that is enough, my tutoring session is over now, so I must be going. Farewell for tonight.
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