What is the reason for anger? Why do we experience such a heinous emotion? Everyone does. So why? Is there some evolutionary or biological reason for it? Is there any way to stop it? Is there any way to control it?
I have been a very angry person lately. I have wasted an entire day being angry. Just to find out that there is really no reason for it. Even as I write this I am still partially angry at some people I know and for reasons that, really, I have no business worrying about. It doesn't pertain to me and it doesn't actually affect my life at all. So why am I angry?
I personally am angry because some people just don't think. They don't listen to those who care about them. Some don't even listen to themselves. Some are just idiots, others aren't but still act like it. So again, why am I mad?
I really can't explain why I am so angry. I guess it is because these people are friends. I hold them to the standards I hold myself to.
I guess I just hate to see them messing up their lives and being such idiots. I always feel as though I should tell them, but I know as soon as I do they will just become angry with me for not minding my own business. I don't want that tension. In my mind, bottling up anger and frustration is much easier than losing a friend, or even upsetting a friend. I have handled my emotions all my life this way, but friends in my life come very sparsely and I need them to last.
Or maybe that last paragraph is just a load of crap, and I just don't like other people having fun. Maybe that's what it is. I already know that I can't have fun, so maybe if my friends don't have fun than I'll be happier. Perhaps my mind is really that selfish. I don't know.
Anyway, back to the real issue. Why is there anger in this world? What is the central cause for it? Some people lose things and become angry, some people simply become upset, some people don't experience any emotion at all. Why is there such a difference among people? And there are different degrees of anger. There are violent, screaming, subtle, and so many other ways that people experience anger.
I suppose our environment when we are younger gives us much of the general reaction to anger. If your parents curse and shout when they are angry, then likely you too will do that. If you grow up in a house of beatings and physical punishment, then you likely will do that as well when older. Well assuming that explains every case, which it most certainly doesn't, then why did anger develop in the first place?
Why are people so angry? Some people get angry at everything. Why is this? Is there just some cosmic balance that says that some people have to be angry all the time? I personally don't believe that even though it is really easy to say. So scientifically, why is this?
Well I suppose early species got angry at others because of territory. Territory fights are very common among all species, not excluding humans, even now. Well considering this, why still did these species get angry?
Ok well let's think about modern day occurrences... What are the alternatives? Happiness, sadness, apathy, etc. So why wouldn't we experience these other emotions? Well happiness is a raising of the morale level, it is the mood that hopefully most enjoy. Why wouldn't we experience this? Well the losing of something important, for example, doesn't usually make beings happy; they usually obtained it through some effort or work. Thus they have an important connection to it. Thus lowing this object would cause a large amount of stress to build. This is why happiness does not occur. So why can't more people just simply become sad when they lose objects?
So sadness is, like anger, a lowering of morale due to increase in stress usually. What really is the separation between sadness and anger? I personally tend to experience both together. So what about those occasions when only one occurs? Perhaps this is a result of chemicals in the brain. Perhaps anger and sadness are both set off by different chemicals which are given off in different amounts in different people depending on genes and other influences. (By the way, yes, I realize I am not really being scientific here. I am simply coming up with completely unsubstantiated hypotheses. But if you have ever read any of my posts in the past, you will probably realize I do that a lot.) If this is true then maybe similar amounts of stress in different people could cause such different responses in people who experience similar situations. I think I will just stick with this answer for now. I really don't feel like researching anything right now and I don't plan to do anything relating to psychology in the future.
So we have pseudo-determined why we experience anger in these situations. How can we control it? I have no idea. I haven't learned how, other than to not have anger. And I haven't figured out how to do that either, at least not with things that actually anger me. I am relatively apathetic to most things, this is probably one of the reasons that when I am angry people around me know it.
So how does any of this explain what I have gone through today? Well this experience has caused me stress obviously assuming our explanation is correct. So why was I stressed? Because I wasn't listened to, because I care so much about these people? I suppose that makes sense. But why then did these cause me so much stress as to create anger? Well I guess my stress level has been relatively elevated lately. Perhaps it was just pushed beyond its limit. Perhaps it is because I care so greatly for these friends that is amplifies the amount of stress posed by their smallest of errors in judgment according to my mind.
I'll be honest I am going with all of the above just because I feel like leaving it alone now. My mind over the course of writing this has settled to a much lower level of stress and I am feeling much better. This was the true plan for this post. I wanted to test whether it was actually true or not that I use this to blow off steam. I was right, who would have thought.
Well whoever read this, my apologies again for wasting your time and quite possibly depressing you. My way of coping is to explain everything to myself, if you can't deal with it, don't read. Simple as that. Thanks to those who do continue to read though. It means a great deal.
I actually wouldn't mind writing more often about things other than myself, so if anyone wishes to suggest anything that will be easy enough to write about, please let me know. Well adios.
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Daze
Finally started walking again today. After the week of nearly continuous videogame playing, it was nice to get out. I think my videogame kick is fighting back. I know I should stop but there's only a few more days left until I won't even get a chance to play. For those who don't know my schedule yet, it involves physics 2 and organic chem, along with astronomy, history, and multivariable calculus. It will be quite a tough semester, but I can't wait either way. Anyway that is the reason I will not be able to play videogames. I plan to study the way we are told to, several hours a day. I can't foresee it happening like that but I will try.
Anyway so I did go walking today. I thought about a lot of stuff from the past and some stuff that I made up on the fly. I walked until my legs were numb as usual. I figured I would write a short blog about some stuff I thought of. This will get me in the hang of writing again.
The main thought I remember while walking was about when I went through the incident in high school. When I lost the person I thought I was in love with. "Even more about me (junior and senior year)" is the post if you have not read it. I was most curious about the dazed state I was in during the aftermath.
At the time, I was in a dazed state. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I went through school and work and home like a mindless zombie. I talked to very few people. I was completely apathetic (much more than usual). I had no care for anything. I thought, but even my thoughts were fuzzy. I can't remember, but I don't think I ate all that much. This was all happening for weeks straight. I was extremely tired and sleeping was the only time that I felt alright. And when you sleep you really aren't able to feel all that much. It was similar to the times when you are staring at something or into space and you can't move your eyes. Something just won't let you. That was how my entire body was all day everyday for weeks. I was in a somewhat subconscious or unconscious state. I was never able to explain it.
I looked up a bit on consciousness and I am not really sure what it was. I wish I had an explanation or even a word for whatever it was. I just know that I didn't like it. I hope it never happens again. It was horrible, I lost out on several weeks of my life for some unknown reason.
I guess that will be all for now. I really can't remember what else I thought about on the walk. Hopefully I will have some inspiration to write something else soon enough.
Anyway so I did go walking today. I thought about a lot of stuff from the past and some stuff that I made up on the fly. I walked until my legs were numb as usual. I figured I would write a short blog about some stuff I thought of. This will get me in the hang of writing again.
The main thought I remember while walking was about when I went through the incident in high school. When I lost the person I thought I was in love with. "Even more about me (junior and senior year)" is the post if you have not read it. I was most curious about the dazed state I was in during the aftermath.
At the time, I was in a dazed state. I felt like I couldn't do anything. I went through school and work and home like a mindless zombie. I talked to very few people. I was completely apathetic (much more than usual). I had no care for anything. I thought, but even my thoughts were fuzzy. I can't remember, but I don't think I ate all that much. This was all happening for weeks straight. I was extremely tired and sleeping was the only time that I felt alright. And when you sleep you really aren't able to feel all that much. It was similar to the times when you are staring at something or into space and you can't move your eyes. Something just won't let you. That was how my entire body was all day everyday for weeks. I was in a somewhat subconscious or unconscious state. I was never able to explain it.
I looked up a bit on consciousness and I am not really sure what it was. I wish I had an explanation or even a word for whatever it was. I just know that I didn't like it. I hope it never happens again. It was horrible, I lost out on several weeks of my life for some unknown reason.
I guess that will be all for now. I really can't remember what else I thought about on the walk. Hopefully I will have some inspiration to write something else soon enough.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Boy vs. Girl
Ok, a friend and I were having a conversation last night about children. I have been wanting to post so badly since then, but haven't gotten a chance, so I will try to remember all we said.
So we somehow got on the topic of having children and names and things like that. Then she said that if she could only have one child she would want a boy. I said that if I had only one child it would be a girl. So we starting going further into it and she said that a lot of her male friends would rather have girls than boys. This intrigued me. I thought I was just different, but I guess not so much. Why is it that males want to have girls, and females want to have boys?
Now of course there is only one case of a female wanting a girl, but she brought up a strong case. She said that she wouldn't want to have a girl because she knows what girls are like and she knows they are "evil" inside, I think is what she said. I, having younger twin sisters, know this to be true as well. However, I still want a girl child. I have thought about it a lot in the past and I think I want a girl child because I try to appreciate women. I want what's best for the women in my environment. I want them to be treated properly. Apparently I am not the only male who wants a girl child though. So perhaps there is more to this.
She wants a boy child. I was never really proved with a reason for this so much as against the other. However, I personally feel that I don't want a boy as much because I feel like a boy will find it easier to fend for himself. I feel like he may turn out like all the other males in this current world and be corrupted to a point that I can't bring myself to appreciate. This brings up my stance on current gender roles and corruption that I am sure to post at some point in the near future. Anyway, I personally still believe in the primordial idea that girls are pure and more perfect than boys. Boys are much easier corrupt than girls. Of course this is not always true but in the world of my mind I still feel this to be true.
I still wish to look more into this. I also brainstormed last night for quite a while, it was actually hard to fall asleep. I thought of one idea that relates to Freudian psychology. I thought perhaps this has something to do with the Oedipus and Electra complexes. For those who are not knowledgeable in psychology, the Oedipal complex says that all sons innately want to have sex with their mother, and the Electra complex is the same with daughter and father. Now that is taking the more extreme translation that Freud came up with. I mean this in a much less sexual degree, and in the reverse direction. Perhaps women are more likely to wish for a son and men more likely to wish for a daughter as their heir.
I have also thought about it in a more basic sense. Perhaps parents just want their child to have what they themselves can't. So women want a child to be a man, and men want their child to be a woman. The Forbidden Fruit effect is something that I feel drives people more than anything else. I'm sure I will also be writing my beliefs on that at some point too.
These are the ideas that I have come up with. If anyone else has opinions or input to add please comment. Also if you wish to add your own opinion as to whether you want a boy or girl you can. This will give a more varied result to see if any of this is even logical to look at as a comparison or just a coincidence. Please include your gender and the child's gender. For example I would just put: male and girl. Thanks.
So we somehow got on the topic of having children and names and things like that. Then she said that if she could only have one child she would want a boy. I said that if I had only one child it would be a girl. So we starting going further into it and she said that a lot of her male friends would rather have girls than boys. This intrigued me. I thought I was just different, but I guess not so much. Why is it that males want to have girls, and females want to have boys?
Now of course there is only one case of a female wanting a girl, but she brought up a strong case. She said that she wouldn't want to have a girl because she knows what girls are like and she knows they are "evil" inside, I think is what she said. I, having younger twin sisters, know this to be true as well. However, I still want a girl child. I have thought about it a lot in the past and I think I want a girl child because I try to appreciate women. I want what's best for the women in my environment. I want them to be treated properly. Apparently I am not the only male who wants a girl child though. So perhaps there is more to this.
She wants a boy child. I was never really proved with a reason for this so much as against the other. However, I personally feel that I don't want a boy as much because I feel like a boy will find it easier to fend for himself. I feel like he may turn out like all the other males in this current world and be corrupted to a point that I can't bring myself to appreciate. This brings up my stance on current gender roles and corruption that I am sure to post at some point in the near future. Anyway, I personally still believe in the primordial idea that girls are pure and more perfect than boys. Boys are much easier corrupt than girls. Of course this is not always true but in the world of my mind I still feel this to be true.
I still wish to look more into this. I also brainstormed last night for quite a while, it was actually hard to fall asleep. I thought of one idea that relates to Freudian psychology. I thought perhaps this has something to do with the Oedipus and Electra complexes. For those who are not knowledgeable in psychology, the Oedipal complex says that all sons innately want to have sex with their mother, and the Electra complex is the same with daughter and father. Now that is taking the more extreme translation that Freud came up with. I mean this in a much less sexual degree, and in the reverse direction. Perhaps women are more likely to wish for a son and men more likely to wish for a daughter as their heir.
I have also thought about it in a more basic sense. Perhaps parents just want their child to have what they themselves can't. So women want a child to be a man, and men want their child to be a woman. The Forbidden Fruit effect is something that I feel drives people more than anything else. I'm sure I will also be writing my beliefs on that at some point too.
These are the ideas that I have come up with. If anyone else has opinions or input to add please comment. Also if you wish to add your own opinion as to whether you want a boy or girl you can. This will give a more varied result to see if any of this is even logical to look at as a comparison or just a coincidence. Please include your gender and the child's gender. For example I would just put: male and girl. Thanks.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Neon Genesis Evangelion
I have been watching the series called Neon Genesis Evangelion for the second time through for the last few weeks. I decided that I would talk about it for my first official post about something consequential.
Neon Genesis Evangelion, for those who don't know is an anime series. It is a really detailed story based around a government organization called NERV. They have these giant robot/mecha things, called EVA, that fight off alien beings called Angels. This story is long and you need to watch the whole 26-episode series to really understand it. I recommend watching it at least twice to actually understand it to a decent degree.
The story is based around several children and a few adults who have to use these EVAs to kill the enemy Angels. It is an extremely psychologically disturbing show. The children who pilot the EVA are destroyed mentally by the combat they face and the corruption in NERV. Several adult characters too are affected by these problems and suffer greatly as a result.
I actually just looked at a few things on the series and found out that the director had been diagnosed with clinical depression before writing the series and used his experiences with it to write about.
The last few episodes are the part of the series that are the most twisted and where everything starts to fall into place. I personally learned new things about the series the second time through and I bet another watch would reveal even more.
I wish I were able to explain the things that these people went through, but I can't in any reasonable time. If you haven't seen the series and want to watch it I will post the link to where I watched it. http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/neon-genesis-evangelion-episode-1-english-dubbed-online-free#English
I have just finished the series and I wish to comment on the last episode which is a really inspirational one if nothing else. There are many things that the main protagonist learns. It is really cool because anyone that is depressed or confused or distraught about life can refer to these things and it may help. I think that was the director's meaning behind the episode and the series at that.
The first message is "You are your own reality, you create your own reality." This is one of the many things that were learned by the protagonists, Shinji. You can do whatever you want. You are the creator and writer of your own fate and life. If you don't want to do something that you are being forced to do, you don't have to. You are what you do and you do what you want. If you don't do what you want there is no reason for you to be living your life. As harsh as that sounds, I think that is about right. I believe I understand where he is coming from on that.
The next message is "You can't recognize your own image without others." This one is rather interesting and I never thought of it before. In other words if there is no others there is no difference to distinguish yourself. This message is one that I could have been better off learning earlier in life. Shinji was a lonely person much like many other characters in the series. I was also like this and at times I still am. He wished for a reality that was empty and void of all others. He learns that without others in your life there is no real way that you can see your own image. You can't know who you are without knowing who others perceive you as or how you act and react with and to others. Through time of seeing how others perceive you, you create your own image of who you are. So in a way, others create you just as much as you create you. Everyone you know has their own mind's image of you and you of everyone else.
One other message is "Reality and truth are perspectives." Everyone knows what they know and believe what they believe. These could be completely different from what you believe or know, but each is just as true to the two of you. This is what is meant by the message. "There are as many truths as there are people on this earth, " that is a direct quote from the show. It really describes the variability of humans and their minds.
I hope that some people have some comments on these things because I would like to think about it a bit more. Well, I guess that is enough, my tutoring session is over now, so I must be going. Farewell for tonight.
Neon Genesis Evangelion, for those who don't know is an anime series. It is a really detailed story based around a government organization called NERV. They have these giant robot/mecha things, called EVA, that fight off alien beings called Angels. This story is long and you need to watch the whole 26-episode series to really understand it. I recommend watching it at least twice to actually understand it to a decent degree.
The story is based around several children and a few adults who have to use these EVAs to kill the enemy Angels. It is an extremely psychologically disturbing show. The children who pilot the EVA are destroyed mentally by the combat they face and the corruption in NERV. Several adult characters too are affected by these problems and suffer greatly as a result.
I actually just looked at a few things on the series and found out that the director had been diagnosed with clinical depression before writing the series and used his experiences with it to write about.
The last few episodes are the part of the series that are the most twisted and where everything starts to fall into place. I personally learned new things about the series the second time through and I bet another watch would reveal even more.
I wish I were able to explain the things that these people went through, but I can't in any reasonable time. If you haven't seen the series and want to watch it I will post the link to where I watched it. http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/neon-genesis-evangelion-episode-1-english-dubbed-online-free#English
I have just finished the series and I wish to comment on the last episode which is a really inspirational one if nothing else. There are many things that the main protagonist learns. It is really cool because anyone that is depressed or confused or distraught about life can refer to these things and it may help. I think that was the director's meaning behind the episode and the series at that.
The first message is "You are your own reality, you create your own reality." This is one of the many things that were learned by the protagonists, Shinji. You can do whatever you want. You are the creator and writer of your own fate and life. If you don't want to do something that you are being forced to do, you don't have to. You are what you do and you do what you want. If you don't do what you want there is no reason for you to be living your life. As harsh as that sounds, I think that is about right. I believe I understand where he is coming from on that.
The next message is "You can't recognize your own image without others." This one is rather interesting and I never thought of it before. In other words if there is no others there is no difference to distinguish yourself. This message is one that I could have been better off learning earlier in life. Shinji was a lonely person much like many other characters in the series. I was also like this and at times I still am. He wished for a reality that was empty and void of all others. He learns that without others in your life there is no real way that you can see your own image. You can't know who you are without knowing who others perceive you as or how you act and react with and to others. Through time of seeing how others perceive you, you create your own image of who you are. So in a way, others create you just as much as you create you. Everyone you know has their own mind's image of you and you of everyone else.
One other message is "Reality and truth are perspectives." Everyone knows what they know and believe what they believe. These could be completely different from what you believe or know, but each is just as true to the two of you. This is what is meant by the message. "There are as many truths as there are people on this earth, " that is a direct quote from the show. It really describes the variability of humans and their minds.
I hope that some people have some comments on these things because I would like to think about it a bit more. Well, I guess that is enough, my tutoring session is over now, so I must be going. Farewell for tonight.
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