Thursday, December 16, 2010

I'm still learning

Well yet another lesson has been learned. So many lesson are to be learned in this life. I am really starting to realize that. It is strange how we can learn things. Just to give some perspective on the strangeness of the timing of this realization. I was heading to the bathroom tonight and a thought popped into my head about a conversation I was listening to some friends having about a week and a half ago. Yeah I know, what an extremely delayed reaction, right?

Anyway. On to the lesson. Two friends and I were walking back from dropping off another friend at the gym for her soccer game. They were discussing needing to fit the gym in their schedule and needing to work out more. I didn't get involved because I have a completely different mindset, I have no real desire to keep in shape, although it seems like society prefers people who do sometimes. Anyway, they were discussing this and in my head I was thinking, "Why? That's such a waste of energy and why do something that you obviously don't want to do?"

Well then one and a half weeks go by and I need to use the bathroom and all of a sudden this conversation enters my brain, and I have an epiphany. I realized they don't do it for no reason. They do it because it's good, they do it because they want to be healthy and this is the way that they can do it. Ok, so that isn't much of a realization. However, I did realize something about myself. They are willing to do this because they have to discipline to do it. They are willing to do something they don't want to do in order to, in the end, get something they do want.

The following list of thoughts all came out, in a very unordered way and I don't feel like sorting through it, so take it as you please:

And I realized that I am not like that. I am a spoiled person. I don't do things outside the realm of what was given to me. By this I mean that I have grown into a person with certain abilities. I am good at school for example. Thus I don't care to do anything major with my life but go to school. I do things that come easy to me and I don't challenge myself enough. I am basically a naive, inexperienced child when it comes to doing things.

I am a person who wants something at one time and does whatever leads to that goal. I don't really look at the future too much. This could be one of the major reasons that I have no idea what I want to do in my future. I have not really thought about that far in the future yet.

I am a person who does things that I am comfortable with. I don't try to expand myself and I don't try to go out of the comfort zone. This is the person I am socially and mentally as well.

I don't know if any of that made sense. I just wanted to get it all down before I lost it all. I don't even remember all that I wrote or if it was everything. I will just stop there, I don't have the mindset anymore to write more. Goodnight.