Thursday, July 1, 2010

Boy vs. Girl

Ok, a friend and I were having a conversation last night about children. I have been wanting to post so badly since then, but haven't gotten a chance, so I will try to remember all we said.

So we somehow got on the topic of having children and names and things like that. Then she said that if she could only have one child she would want a boy. I said that if I had only one child it would be a girl. So we starting going further into it and she said that a lot of her male friends would rather have girls than boys. This intrigued me. I thought I was just different, but I guess not so much. Why is it that males want to have girls, and females want to have boys?

Now of course there is only one case of a female wanting a girl, but she brought up a strong case. She said that she wouldn't want to have a girl because she knows what girls are like and she knows they are "evil" inside, I think is what she said. I, having younger twin sisters, know this to be true as well. However, I still want a girl child. I have thought about it a lot in the past and I think I want a girl child because I try to appreciate women. I want what's best for the women in my environment. I want them to be treated properly. Apparently I am not the only male who wants a girl child though. So perhaps there is more to this.

She wants a boy child. I was never really proved with a reason for this so much as against the other. However, I personally feel that I don't want a boy as much because I feel like a boy will find it easier to fend for himself. I feel like he may turn out like all the other males in this current world and be corrupted to a point that I can't bring myself to appreciate. This brings up my stance on current gender roles and corruption that I am sure to post at some point in the near future. Anyway, I personally still believe in the primordial idea that girls are pure and more perfect than boys. Boys are much easier corrupt than girls. Of course this is not always true but in the world of my mind I still feel this to be true.

I still wish to look more into this. I also brainstormed last night for quite a while, it was actually hard to fall asleep. I thought of one idea that relates to Freudian psychology. I thought perhaps this has something to do with the Oedipus and Electra complexes. For those who are not knowledgeable in psychology, the Oedipal complex says that all sons innately want to have sex with their mother, and the Electra complex is the same with daughter and father. Now that is taking the more extreme translation that Freud came up with. I mean this in a much less sexual degree, and in the reverse direction. Perhaps women are more likely to wish for a son and men more likely to wish for a daughter as their heir.

I have also thought about it in a more basic sense. Perhaps parents just want their child to have what they themselves can't. So women want a child to be a man, and men want their child to be a woman. The Forbidden Fruit effect is something that I feel drives people more than anything else. I'm sure I will also be writing my beliefs on that at some point too.

These are the ideas that I have come up with. If anyone else has opinions or input to add please comment. Also if you wish to add your own opinion as to whether you want a boy or girl you can. This will give a more varied result to see if any of this is even logical to look at as a comparison or just a coincidence. Please include your gender and the child's gender. For example I would just put: male and girl. Thanks.


  1. Or maybe all the guys I talk to are just freaks...just kidding!!!! I'm sorry it kept you up! Haha. Well, you already know what I think =]

  2. I'm a girl and I've always wanted girls for kids. I've babysat boys. They are menaces. Maybe I just got lucky. but the girl I babysit is just so cute and docile. And she doesn't always try to blow things up. And, I'd like to add, that the boys cry and whine more than she ever does.

  3. I'm a guy and want a girl. I think part of it is because of Samantha's reason, and another part is your thought of girls as more "pure."
    Also, I'm not the typical beef-head dad that wants his son's life to be based on football and sports. So maybe I have a bit of a retaliation against that. But that is only part of the reason.
    That said, can I have a boy, a girl, and a dog, like a stereotypical average American family? Maybe throw in a cat? Wait, that is what my family is now!

  4. Hmm...interesting question to say the least. I'm actually a bit split down the middle on this one. On one hand: the prospect of having a daughter. My biggest experiences with little girls is from being a camp counselor at a summer camp. The ages ranged from 3-14, so it could be safe to say that the majority of childhood could be covered. Little girls are generally sweet and the stereotypical "pure". However, once they approach preteendom and teendom (yes I made up those words) there comes a typical branch in their behavior. They either take an immature path and enter a sort of "valleygirl" phase, or they become more of the mature, but introverted girl. Either way, from what I've heard, at this point girls become just as difficult as boys in the typical predictable teenage manner. Of course, as a boy and from the camp experience, I can attest that mostly throughout all of childhood boys are just wild. Now I don't mean to say they become rambunctious and uncontrollable, but they are typically more risk-takers and seem to have endless energy. All-in-all, both boys and girls have pros and cons that come with them and I just couldn't really see me caring if my only child was a daughter or a son. All I would care about is that they are happy, healthy, respectful of myself and their mother, and make the right choices.

  5. "pure" well isn't that a stereotype. Being in girl scouts for so long, baby sitting and doing the whole camp counselor thing, girls are not as "pure" as one would think. You should hear what some of my girls used to talk about and the knowledge they already had on certain issues. I was appalled.

  6. It isn't unusual for parents wanting the opposite sex children. It is actually something I grew up on and never questioned. I think it has something to do with the bond between them. Example, I like my mother much more than my father. Also many of my girls whom are friends like their fathers more. I feel it just has something to do with the opposite sexes complimenting each other and forming a nice bond. Another way to look at it can simply be a boy's father would expect him to be a strong man. But if there are manners at hand that would kind of question his manhood a mother is a perfect contender to talk to because she'll listen. With girls they may need someone to look out for them. Both parent's can obviously do this but the father will almost always be one up on the mother (only because males are naturally stronger and bigger than females). So that's why kid's will choose the opposite. And because we all were once kids at some point in time we feel we can compliment the opposite sex child more.

    That's how I've always looked at it. But oddly enough I would want a boy to carry on my family's name.