Me, religion and some fun

Well I am going to go back to my religion rant. I am not sure what else to write about. I may actually in the future start researching religions. That may make this even more accurate. As of this time I have only the knowledge of the Catholic religion, which I was Baptized and Confirmed into.

I was raised by a family that went to church every once in awhile. I went to CCD, catholic class, weekly from 2nd through 7th grade. I received many of the sacraments that Catholics receive in their lives. My grandparents are people who go to church and confession every weekend regardless of where they are (this even includes during vacations out of country). They are almost to the point of radical. No offense mom-mom and pop-pop.

Anyway, throughout my years in CCD I learned a fair amount of things. I went through phases of fearing death and hell and god himself. I was a very fearful follower and would do anything to save my soul.

This, as you can obviously see, has changed quite a bit. I don't know exactly what it was that changed so much, but it did. I became much less of a follower after CCD ended. I think what really annoyed me about it was the completely ridiculous stories within the bible. I will talk about these in a bit. I also think it had to do with my discovery of science as a reality that I enjoyed and understood, unlike the bible.

My first complaint with the bible is that it might not have even been written as a true story. I will quote a friend and say, "it's only a history book." It is bound to be flawed by human writing, no pun intended. But I also came up with an alternate theory about the origin of the bible. It was written as a really organized prank. People who called themselves "apostles" decided to pull a prank and talk about these things that they just made up off the cuff. Could you imagine if this was what actually happened? All these people were professing their belief in a false religion just to see if other people would follow. Little do they realize it would be one of the most believed religions in all of history. That would really be the greatest prank of all time.

I guess this is a pretty weak guess. I mean if they did want to come up with a better prank, they probably would have tried harder to come up with more believable stories. Some stories from the bible people just take as true. But if you look at these actual stories, you see that only an idiot or a drunk would actually believe them.

Let's start with the beginning. I don't know too much of the story of the beginning, but from what I do remember: God took 6 days to create the world and 1 day for rest. Wait, 7 days, since when is god restricted by time. Is god really only existent in the 4 dimensions we know? Well the bible just proved that M theory can't exist, with it's 11 dimensions and whatnot.

And then it has been dated and followed by bible experts and supposedly it says that the world was 4000 years old. Umm...ok. Then there was that famous court case and that was proven wrong. All those fossils and stuff that god just put in the ground to fool us. Ha, he's a funny little bugger isn't he.

Well the bible is looking fishy and we aren't even to the first human yet. Ok, shall we? Adam, created from dirt. Yes because dirt has DNA and other complex structures like that. Eve, the first clone ever. I mean that's got to be what she was. She was created from Adam's rib. I don't even think stem cell work like that. I'm pretty sure rib cells can only make ribs, or at most bones. That's it, Eve was a skeleton. No that doesn't work because there was Cain and Abel, who were by the way the first true rivals. They were Gary and Ash as blood relatives and really unhappy about it.

Ok, so god said don't eat the apple and satan said do eat the apple. Forbidden fruit for another discussion. So naturally they eat it. Duh... humans wouldn't be any fun without sin. God knew it all along. And why apples are apples always assumed? Where did it ever say apple? I'm pretty sure, even with my limited knowledge, it never said apple in the bible. I thought an apple a day kept the doctor away, I guess the devil wasn't a doctor.

Now on to Cain and Abel. First off, is the reproduction of man and his clone considered asexual reproduction? The first murderer was Cain. He was sadistic enough to kill his brother. Why was that anyway? Ah, jealousy. I guess that's a good reason. I mean who doesn't kill their brother when they receive less attention. It's only natural.

Now a bit further. Ok so Adam and Eve had these two and apparently Seth too. Ok. And they all lived for excess of 900 years, except Abel of course. Whoa, whoa... 900 years. Holy crap!!! What is this? Why are we getting cheated out of 800+ years? Why do we live for 100, if we are lucky? Who got the short end of the stick there? OK another question. If these three were born to Adam and Eve, who did they reproduce with. Three sons with no daughters. Ummm...I don't get it. OK well over looking that point, apparently they each did have a wife. So they had random wives that just appeared for convenience. I know a few people who would be more than happy to make some anti-feminist jokes about this, but I will not. And each of them have a wife and son. And it keeps happening like that, I guess. Umm... anyone else seriously considering the problems with this genotype? Only male offspring. What kind of genes did they have? Or were they just really unlucky? Ok so a bunch of other generations of 900 year old and gradually they start dying younger. And by the time of Moses humans were down to 100 year life spans.

Alright on to my favorite myth from the bible. Noah. How big of a boat can carry one of every species of animal ever known to man? Let alone 2 of them. And then there is the time needed to replenish the species to a non-endangered level of population. How long does it take for millions of species of all forms of animal to reproduce to this level? I am not even going to attempt to figure this out. Now on to the original question of how big a boat it needed. Ok well consider how many species of animal you know. Giraffe, elephant, pig, cow, horse, dog, wolf, cat, lion, zebra, cheetah, and there are more than I will ever be able to name here, so I won't even continue. And I bet those are only mammals that you considered. Now go to birds. Orioles, finches, crows, doves, sparrows, etc. Ok and now for the insects. Beetles, bees, ants. You get the idea. Not to mention that the birds and insects I mentioned weren't even species. Those were closer to family or genus. In fact, there are more species of beetle known then there are people in America. And there are more discovered all the time. So how big a boat can carry all of these animals? A boat known as the Earth is about the only boat that can be fathomed. Ok now another question. How can these animals survive for however long that flood was? Was there food? Other than the other animals? And how do you keep animals from eating one another on a boat this big? I mean even know with technology, prison guards can't keep prisoners from attacking each other. And these aren't even starving animals.

I think you can understand where I am coming from with these, or at least I hope so. These are the things that dissuaded me from the catholic religion. These aren't even half of the stories that don't make sense to me. I just can't bring myself to believe in it. Feel free to voice your opinion though. Maybe you can change my mind...