I have discovered one thing about me. Down to the deepest fibers of my being I am nothing more than a copycat. I don’t know if this is the same for others or not but I will explain. I do want to do a lot of things. And that is a good thing; at least I like to think. There is a problem though. I like to do things as I learn about them. Now that doesn’t sound bad I know, but with me, I like to do a lot of things and I am always learning new things. Hence I want to do most everything that I come into minimal contact with. I am currently a Physics and Chemistry double major with a Math minor. That is because I wanted to do those when I came to college, so I decided not to decide on one but all. Now I have been introduced to a simple aspect of Biochemistry and I want to do that too. I also wouldn’t mind doing Astronomy now that I am doing this research. Now you will probably ask what that has to do with copycatting, if it is something I want, why not go for it?
This does transfer over to other aspects of my life. My college friends have and do all kinds of stuff that I never have and now I want to do those things. One of my friends is Indian. Since meeting her, I had a desire and have actually fulfilled that desire to try Indian food. I also wish to know more about the Hindu religion. Aside from the minimal amounts of religious learning from seventh grade social studies class, I only ever was somewhat knowledgeable of Christianity before this. I also have a friend who is a Comp Sci major and I had some computer programming in high school and I had a Comp Sci class this summer. Now I have a desire to do computer programming. I have even been told it is something I am good at by my professor. I have a friend who is a history major and my former roommate had a history class spring semester. I now want to know more about history, which by the way I strongly disliked in high school. I am also looking into Biology because I know several Bio majors. I could list probably a dozen and a half other things too and those don’t necessarily have to do with school like these other ones. But I don’t want to bore you more than I have already.
So this is the main component of me. I am a copycat. I do things that others do. I am just like any other human. I need to fit in, despite the fact that I don’t want to believe it. I just tell myself that it is something I really want to do. I want to be able to do this thing or that. This person is good at drawing, so I want to be better. This person knows all about Chemistry, I want to know more. This person can do anything, I want to do everything. These are the thoughts that go through my head all day every day. It’s one of the obsessions I deal with. It is actually a motivational drive though. It makes me do something.
I am not really saying that being a copycat is bad. I personally don’t think it is a good thing, but I have to learn to be another way before I can do anything about it. I feel like I need to be more unique to satisfy myself. That is why I think it isn’t good. Some may think that this quality is alright. I don’t. Well that’s about all I can say of this subject. I shall be posting again soon enough.